The Internet Monk 

"the power of opinion, the phenomenon of speech, the impact of truth"

A Webjournal edited by Michael Spencer

A Few Monkish Predictions for 2002 

by Michael Spencer

Perhaps the lowest form of journalism is the predictions column. Have you ever seen someone held to account for their predictions the previous year? And just how insightful do you have to be to write what MIGHT happen in the next year? But, face it, it's fun...fun to write and fun to read, and here at the Internet Monk, we are looking for fun. Ever since Rigney left, the place is dead. When we get bored, we get dangerous. I've now had two IBC Root Beers this week. That is excess. In other words, I need to write this column, or I'm going to start thinking about how to get the cat's tail into an electrical socket. So here goes- my predictions for 2002.

The war on terrorism will move to Somalia or the Philippines before Iraq. Instead, the Bush administration will ratchet up the pressure on Saddam to allow inspectors into Iraq, an offer he will stall, accept and finally reject. In the meantime, we will be looking for viable internal opposition to support.  Eventually (2003), we will bomb Iraq.

The congressional Democrats will continue to oppose the President on the domestic front, but the Prez is about through being nice. Look for Bush to hit the campaign trail hard in the 2002 congressional elections, and make Daschle and company pay in political blood for their stupid opposition to the economic package. The GOP will make up ground in the senate and set the stage for the largest presidential landslide in history in 2004.

Former President Clinton will continue his slide into embarrassment and obscurity. The nation will wonder what was in the water when everyone said this was a great President. Former Clinton apologists will take vows of silence and only be found chanting in Buddhist monasteries. Hillary Clinton will have a much publicized relationship with another man.

The Democrats will successfully use the Enron bail-out to grab some headlines, but Democrats as well as Republicans will suffer in the scandal. Henry Waxman will look like an idiot. Tom Delay will prove to be a major headache to the President.

Handing over Bin Ladin will become a major issue between the United States and Pakistan, as the Pakistani government is reluctant to irritate Islamic fundamentalists by vigorously pursuing UBL. The United States will find itself caught between India and Pakistan in a conflict with nuclear possibilities, and major implications for bringing UBL to justice. Mullah Omar will face a military tribunal.

Mike Bloomberg will be the least successful NY mayor in recent history, and Al Sharpton will never shut up. A memorial will be proposed for the WTC site, but its design will be controversial.

The economy will begin a slow, staggering recovery, and the President's economic stimulus will become bolder. There will be ever more plausible proposals for reform of social security and the income tax. The Segway won't revolutionize anything, but sales will increase as the price goes down. The minimum wage will be raised.

Strom Thurmond will die. A member of the Bush cabinet will resign. A supreme court justice will retire. We will have a new pope, from a non-European country. President Bush will become highly critical of Europe.

The internet will replace the major news networks as news sources. Al Sharpton will declare himself a candidate for President. Jesse Jackson will make a come-back. Pat Buchanon will not. J.C. Watts will become a Republican to watch. John Walker will become a celebrity, and his trial a media circus. The squabble over financial compensations for 911 victims will become a storm of greed. One of the three network anchors will retire or be replaced. Bill O'Reilley will increase his lead over Larry King. Rush will still be king of radio. Drudge will prove to have some screws loose.

Hollywood will follow the cultural shift with more patriotic movies. Disney will continue its decline. Rap music will come in for unprecedented criticism. Rock will continue its revival. Hip Hop culture will become excessively commercial. MTV will reach new lows. Oprah will receive a record amount of criticism from conservatives. Franklin Graham proves to be very controversial and is rejected as the "heir" to Billy by the cultural elites. The Gamecube is the winner. XP proves itself. Computer prices stabilize.

There will be another major terrorist attack in the U.S., and another major school shooting. Liberals will find it increasingly hard to present America as a secular nation as more and more communities find a return to religious values acceptable. Incidents of violence against middle easterners will continue.  There will be a strong push for ethnic profiling in order to be realistic in airline security. The airlines will continue financial decline and a major airline bailout will be a hot issue for the next several years.

Laura Bush will become a national icon, and take on an increasingly verbal, public role in the administration. Dick Cheney will have other health problems, but will remain as VP despite Democratic criticism. The Bush twins will be invisible. Al Gore will hit the media trail and no one will watch. Democrats who say Bush stole the 2000 election will be political pariahs. Black support for GWB will double by 2003. Jeb wins. Grey Davis doesn't.

I will lose the ten pounds I've gained since October. I will probably start a book but not finish it. There will be a new columnist on IM. Steve Mcfarland will go to Disney World. I will go to two monasteries. I will see more Shakespeare this year than last. Rigney will not find a church that suits him. My program on TBN will be cancelled. The Vatican will continue ignoring my letters. My daughter will have the same boyfriend this time next year, but he won't be calling me sir. I will be a better husband this year than last. My dog will be fatter. My son will be slimmer. God will be good, in charge and amazingly patient with all of us.

Happy New Year from IM.

Michael@internetmonk.com                                                                             Post a Comment