Sounds like another Win-Win situation for a wife-beater.

Never mind that an abuser is more likely to abuse (and be more abusive) to someone who utterly submits. Weakness invites abuse, not respect.

Because they personally benefit from it when it’s taken literally, that’s why.

You list a lot of reasons why we frequently do not deal with this subject in church. I can see how they exist in varying degrees in most churches.

Yes I believe actually mentioning things about it from the pulpit is good. I also believe that it’s just as important to create a healthy environment as a local body where these issues can be brought to light. There are some things that I think help to create this kind of environment: To have safe, available, known/pointed out people, who others can approach with various issues who are able to connect the approacher with resources (no one can be the one to help everyone on every issue but we can develop networks for people). To have as part of these networks people who have experienced various life situations and now can come along side others (you know, the whole 2 Corinthians 1:4 thing) and specialists/professionals that can be of help. To have a leadership that is committed to God working through them to love people no matter what the outcomes; a leadership that is willing to let go and let God do His work.

“Getting back to the theme of the deliberate mischaracterization of biblical patriarchy. Here is a quote I ran across on another forum. I think it states very clearly the attitude I see from some of the posters on these “abuse” threads …..

“I marvel at the way statistically valid things are constantly dismissed on forums usually by women raising the exception to the rule. Exceptions do not negate rules. If YOU ARE the exception, then why does the rule trouble you so? ”

Now, I would think that those legitimately abused folks would be grateful that there is the VAST majority of people who do NOT suffer their abuse ….. and that they would seek to be in that type of healthy relationship themselves. Especially those divorced people who so desperately want to remarry and be in a healthy environment. I find it personally VERY disheartening to see some of these “abused” people lash out at those in good relationships. Is it simple jealousy? Is it coveting? Is it because they are so damaged that everything is so jaded so that EVERY man is an “abuser” and EVERY church should be looked at suspiciously as being possibly “abusive?”

There is always a hint of desperation in those so vehemently opposed to biblical patriarchy. Why are they so insistent on imposing the exception onto the rule???

Points to ponder, huh?”

If anyone wants to check it out click on my name above and then go to my Resources page.

cheers
Barbara

You’re saying that those CBMW men are giving GOOD advice and it’s a “fringe group” that’s twisting things?

I’m sure there are some lousy fringe groups, but I think CBMW, with it’s teachings that original sin was likely the fact that a woman failed to ask her husbands permission before acting, with their admonition to women that, being feminine, they are innately going to rebel against their male leader and therefore should be careful about trusting themselves if they have any thoughts that go against their husband/king’s authority over them, with it’s teachings that “getting slapped a bit” isn’t that big of a deal, with it’s teachings that women are secondary image-bearers (“seperate but equal,” anyone?)….can anyone really say that CBMW doesn’t have any part in helping male abusers get away with what they are doing…?

The fringe groups are bad news, yeah, but for wives married to abusive men, CBMW is bad news too.