In addition of losing several non-active members to death in the last year, we have also lost a young childless couple that drove long distance just to sit in the nursery every other week, and handle kids/youth programs on wednesdays. They both work full time and the wife was going back to school…. I don’t blame them for leaving. In 2-3 years of being members I doubt they were once invited to a senior member’s home for a meal. Our pastor was the only person who really ministered to them.

In the last month we have lost an old couple due to church discipline, I think they prefferred to not come back rather repent for hurt they have caused.

In the last week we have lost an elder and his wife because after a decade in PCA churches he realizes what the Westminster Confession actually says… and doesn’t like it. He probably never should have been an elder to begin with.

Many of the people in this thread comment that the longest-standing members of the church are usually the culprit for obstructing growth/change/church health, but in my church’s case the most dedicated elder and largest supporter is probably the only member thats been there since childhood. He’s supported things I’ve done, from hosting a concert and inviting the whole community, to playing guitar and singing some hymns to new tunes, without being critical. He and his wife are always humble and gracious and I see them them tend to our pastor. I wish we had more people like him and his family.

This young man, Nick, became a youth pastor. He loved the Lord, loved his kids, taught the word…and had an earring, had a couple of tattoos and, dare I say it…had a coffee machine in the high school room. At a business meeting, one woman asked for his resignation over the coffee machine. His thoughts?? “Eric would just love this!” (He is now out of that church and building houses with his wife’s cousin. He told me “he’s out of that church but not out of ministry.”)

Why did he think that? Because at the church I had taught him was run by three familys. And when one of their friends wanted to be the Youth Pastor…well…Eric got the boot and their friend landed the job. Didn’t matter that the kids didn’t want him, the parents didn’t want him or the majority of the congregation, when asked in private, didn’t want him; he got the position. Why? The elder board (5 members..3 of them from each of the three dominant families) ruled the church. He saw all this first hand then experienced it himself.

Preachers, teachers, deacons were viewed as employees as opposed to servants.

It’s sad that small churches eat pastors and servants.

Hansen and the I-Monk should shout this at every seminary…

Eric

That’s not something indecent, is it?

The essay was great…could have written it myself!

The upshot was that the traditional service remained where it was, and contemporary worship is at 11:30, a little late for many people to get out of church on a Sunday morning/afternoon. But we live with it. Unfortunately, the ugliness of the debate caused at least one couple to leave and another one has been on the verge …

Again, I see it as the “country club” mentality of small, old churches. It’s as if you can’t bring in new ideas if your family hasn’t been members for 3 generations. Gee, I’ve only been a member for 17 years and an elder for 6 … I’m just a kid. It’s very frustrating and quickly burns out anyone who comes in on fire with ideas for ministry and worship. And I’m talking about lay people not just the pastors.

I am just trying to get a feel for how this varies compared to the UK where generally our Churches are a lot smaller anyway.

For example I am being stationed by the Methodist Church to a semi rural area with 5 churches with 100, 12, 10, 9 and 5 members.