September 20, 2014

What Should We Do? David Fitch Suggests: “Maybe Nothing.”

people-working-together-teamwork

Christians are doers. We think churches are supposed to be “doing” places. Pastors and church staff are the chief doers but everyone else knows they are supposed to be doers too. We expect churches to have an active approach to mission, to have programs that will enable people of all ages and different life settings to be involved. We worship together, have classes and studies, take care of young children and have activities for older children and teens, put on special concerts, plays, and programs, do service projects in our communities and take mission trips to other places, have fellowship dinners and events, and put together leadership and ministry teams to oversee it all. Of course, it all has to be staffed with volunteer workers.

Before you know it, you have a church full of doers.

We like to think we are doing good things and doing them for people, to serve them, benefit them, bring them to Christ, disciple them, transform them into servants — so they too can be doers who keep the chain going.

That means our default position, the question we instinctively ask, the outlook we bring to every situation is: What can we do? What should we do? What does God want us to do?

All of this is pretty standard operating procedure in the common program-style church. David Fitch, who is trying to help church adopt a more missional approach that goes beyond things that happen in buildings and gets God’s people out into their neighborhoods and world, says the “doing” approach can be a trap even for a missional community. If that sounds like a contradiction to you, I recommend you read Fitch’s wise post, “The Grace to Do Nothing,” in which he suggests that doing nothing may indeed be the best way to go about doing the work of the church.

His words don’t just apply to the specific “missional community” setting in which he lives. I wish pastors and church leaders everywhere would take heed to his counsel.

What does Fitch say?

I will let him set the stage:

We were in the middle of a discussion at one of our missional communities. We were talking about the challenges of being a missional community in the neighborhood and the subject turned to finding “what we are supposed to do next.” How do we locate places of need, situations of distress, places where the “least of these” are where we can devote some of our time and energy for the Kingdom? How about the domestic violence shelter down the street, can we help there? How about a project to help the community rally around improving the park? How do we locate where the needy are so that we can put our resources to work?

As the conversation proceeded, Fitch felt led to say, “Maybe the best thing we can do is nothing.” What was he thinking? Here is the reasoning behind his suggestion:

  • Focusing on projects turns people into objects.
  • This takes lots of effort and resources.
  • It ends up making us feel better about ourselves, but it also reinforces and perpetuates less than desirable structures .
  • Thus we end up colonizing people and serving them from positions of power.
  • Nothing really changes.

So, opposed to looking for projects, I offered that maybe what we are supposed to do is the opposite: Do (emphasis on:”do”) nothing.  Instead, our main task is to be “with” people in and around our lives long enough, years maybe, to listen and become friends, partners in life, sufficient to offer who we are and what we have become in Christ in exchange for their friendship and their support and who they are. These relationships should be characterized by

1. Long term presence within everyday life. Being with people at same place same time each week, hanging out in same places, working alongside them, raising children in the park, sharing resources over long periods of time.

2. Listening, helping and receiving help just as you would any other friend. Developing a mutual vulnerability.

4. Developing trust.

teamwork (1)Yes. Yes. Yes.

Whether one is discussing how a missional community can be “with” their neighbors or how people in a more traditional style congregation can more effectively live out their vocations in daily life and serve together as partners in congregational mission work, can we please remember that Jesus-shaped living and serving is about building genuine relationships with people, sharing life with them in real settings, and receiving as well as giving, as we learn to be friends and neighbors.

As we do that, we may just find that the things we do together achieve more lasting good.

It is about doing less and being together more, talking less and listening more, initiating less and letting others set the agenda more, organizing less and letting things happen more.

I know this goes against the grain of our anal compulsion to do, to serve, to fix. It also puts a great deal of “ministry” outside the realm of our planning and control, and I realize that is no selling point for most of us who like to be in charge.

Nevertheless I can’t help but think that David Fitch is on to something. Maybe this “church” thing is about life and love and learning, and not just about doing.

Comments

  1. When the emphasis is on ‘our doing’, then we become self-conscious (about our doing) and then our motives are shot.

    Nothing wrong with a bit of Christian encouragement from time to time…but a steady diet of works goading turns the focus inward, where it ought not belong.

    My 4 cents (inflation).

  2. There’s another aspect that I’d like to offer. Emphasizing “doing” is most fatal when it comes to people’s shortcomings and as they struggle with their demons. Go to some evangelical churches and say, “I have a difficult time with alcohol” or ” I have difficulty with porn, not reading my Bible, etc…” Often what happens is that people are placed in programs where OVERCOMING issue ______ is linked to their faith. So if you have an alcoholic who is struggling and goes backward what I would suggest is that you have a church program that leads and contributes to a person’s implosion. And their faith goes south and before they know it they are realing asking, “what happened” In my dealing with doubts, and my shortcomings with lust this issue has been on my mind as I put something together inch by inch. The last thing I want to do as I peek into and explore churches again is be told, “You have to do this program for lust or attend this Bible program for doubt” and wrestle to a point where I am broken again. That would be so stupid of me.

    What many evangelicals don’t understand is that Rome wasn’t built in a day…and neither is faith. What holds faith together and allows people to move forward is grace. Grace should be the glue that holds people in churches. I’ve been reading up a storm about faith, atheism, etc…over the past 5 years and what has really moved me forward is Philip Yancey and his writings on grace. I don’t understand why Christians get so stuck in the different fields or thought. (ie post modern, etc…) The bottom line is that if you live and show love, unconditional grace I think that’s what people are hungry for. I know I crave it….

    • This really touched my heart. Thanks.

    • “The bottom line is that if you live and show love, unconditional grace I think that’s what people are hungry for. I know I crave it….”

      Wonderful words. Great reminder. Thanks for this.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy says:

      Go to some evangelical churches and say, “I have a difficult time with alcohol” or ” I have difficulty with porn, not reading my Bible, etc…” Often what happens is that people are placed in programs where OVERCOMING issue ______ is linked to their faith.

      Monday night: Alcoholics Ministry
      Tuesday night: Singles Ministry
      Wednesday night: Homosexuals Ministry
      – IMonk comment thread several years ago

    • This is great. I just finished reading Matthew Redmond’s book, “The God of the Mundane” and now this! It is hard for me to digest, I want too as I’m plodding along rethinking what I was taught. After spending years soaking my brain in the-works of doing-mentality I love reading about grace & rest.

      “What many evangelicals don’t understand is that Rome wasn’t built in a day…and neither is faith. What holds faith together and allows people to move forward is grace. Grace should be the glue that holds people in churches.” AMEN

      O Eagle, how right you are: Crave! I wrote Phillip Yancey in 1993 after reading Disappointment with God, I was floored when I heard back from him, I still have it. Talk about grace- a man who was probably swamped would take the time…

      • You know in the depths of some of my darkest doubts I seriously thought fo writing or emailing Yancey some of my questions. I’ve been going through books of his like you would not believe. I read “Disappointment with God”, “What Good is God?”, “Where is God When it Hurts?” , “What’s So Amazing About Grace”, “Finding God in Unexpected Places” and working thorough “Prayer: Does It Makes Any Differance” I have his books “Soul Survivor” and “The Jesus I Never Knew” in the que.

        I’m also reading Greg Boyd. Boyd and Yancey are like a vacation from Piper. :-D

        • In a society/faith expression/culture where your always exected to be doing… its nice to just “be” once in a while. That could be interpreted as turning inward, but then if we are always doing, for whose benefit are we doing it for? Many times its for our own selves.

          And then there are the programs. In my faith expression, or at least in my particular church we don’t have lots of this. But sometimes I wonder… those who are running a particular program… do they have the trainnig depth and experience, or does their “wisdom” come from what is revealed to them in scripture (or are they following some christian corporate program where they read along)? Sometimes this may do more harm than good.

          So… I am all about being… after having been asked to do for a long time… and I’m ok with that : )

      • “Disappointment with God” is one of my all-time favorites. What I really appreciated about it was how Yancey didn’t give any pat Christian answers. In fact, if I recall the book kind of ends without ever really saying “here’s how you overcome disappointment with God.”

        Several years ago while reading the book, I told a fellow congregant how much I was enjoying the book. She replied, “Disappointment with God? I would NEVER feel disappointed with God.” (As if disappointment with God was a sin.) And I said, “YOU might not ever feel disappointed with God, but I’m here to tell you, there are a lot of people out there who DO feel disappointment. You should read the book and find out why.”

        • When I read the story of Richard in “Disappointment with God” I felt like I was reading about myself. Yes I hit bottom that hard in 2009.

          • Okay, Eagle. I’ll go back and read the Richard story to get a sense of what you went through.

            My own experience is back in the mid-90s I went through a five year spiritual desert. A five-year total absence of any feelings for God, toward God, from God. A total VOID. Sometime in the midst of that walk through my spiritual desert, I picked up and read “Disappointment with God.” I was like “Oh, you can be a Christian AND feel this way???!!!! And it’s okay, and there MIGHT NOT BE ANY ANSWERS?!?! COOL!!!!” And you know what? I am now SO THANKFUL for that spiritual desert, because now whenever I feel that total lack of GOD (either FOR or FROM), I can reflect back on that time and see that I came through it and it’ll be just fine.

            (By the way, this site and the people who post here ALL help me during my times of periodic spiritual void. THANKS, everyone.)

    • this was such a great comment- it’s so true- when you link a person faith to their need to *fix* or overcome their issues- the results can be disastrous……..and i love phillip yancey- i’ve only read “what’s so amazing about grace” thus far- but i loved it. (and he went to bob jones university- which i did too….the experience to me was similar to what i’d envision a medium security prison to be like:) so seeing someone come through a similar experience and tell of grace encouraged me!

  3. Christians should live a quiet life, minding their own business and work with their hands in their vocations.

    • After getting several scars, I decided this concept from I Thess 4 was worth trying. It has certainly alleviated many areas of stress.

    • Now on the topic of brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another. And indeed you are practicing it toward all the brothers and sisters in all of Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more, to aspire to lead a quiet life, to attend to your own business, and to work with your hands, as we commanded you. In this way you will live a decent life before outsiders and not be in need.

      Butbutbut I thought our mission is to “go and make disciples”!?!? To do great things for God!? Live quietly, love others and just work my job? How mundane!!

      ;o) T

  4. So good. Sometimes our need to “do” is a thin attempt to validate who we, and our churches, are. To slow down, live in our communities, and “[let] others set the agenda more” takes a whole lot of belief in who we are as God’s people, the worthiness of the church outside of the stuff it has to offer, and the sacredness of “regular” life with those around us.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy says:

      In the late Middle Ages, it was Priests, Monks, and Nuns.

      Today, it’s Full Time Christian Workers/Professional Christians.

      What’s the difference?

  5. Wow! Where is the ‘forward to everyone I know’ button?

  6. Stephen S. Mack says:

    Sometimes I think we, as a species, should be re-named “human doings” instead of human beings.

    Just my $.02.

    With best regards,

    Stephen

  7. Whenever I attempt to be “helpful” to my husband without being asked to help, he gets annoyed. He said anyone who offers unasked-for help is really saying, “I am better than you are.” So, yes, we can be helpful…when asked!

    • This is why you don’t help small children tie their own shoes. The culture of doing often begets a culture of people who expect others to tie their shoes.

      Compare how much missionary effort goes into Haiti compared to the Dominican Republic on the other side of the island and ask why the difference?

      • Compare how much missionary effort goes into Haiti compared to the Dominican Republic on the other side of the island and ask why the difference?

        I’ve often wondered about that. One thing is for sure, when you look at a satellite picture of the whole island it isn’t hard to see where Haiti ends and the DR begins.

        T

  8. Pastor Don says:

    Yes!
    For twenty-three years I felt forced by both denominational and lay leadership expectations to present life-impacting messages and teaching, but also an array of “offerings” both to our church body and our community to the extent our human resources and finances would allow. It has always been thinking I have not been able to align with Scripture.
    The imperatives to minister the Gospel are baptizing and teaching, and “being” salt and light not “doing” stuff. And those imperatives were to individuals, not local churches (none had been established yet). I know some will say it is all a matter of interpretation, but “one on one” is always a ministry of the heart and goes further and means more. It also costs more. And it probably goes unnoticed by most–except those it touches.
    It’s not that we stop “doing.” It’s that we stop “doing” ministry as a corporation or organization and do it as individuals touched by love and grace, emboldened by forgiveness, being alongside our coworkers and neighbors in ways that extend that love, grace, and forgiveness to them as they live their lives. Being there, helping, praying with them through life’s ups and downs goes further than inviting them to a fall harvest party, or summer picnic as nice as those gestures may be.
    Thank you for sharing that Chaplain Mike and for the many thought-provoking posts this blog continues to present.

  9. I think there’s much truth in this, but I don’t think it’s just a church issue. It’s really an American attitude that has infiltrated into the church. In the US, we are constantly being told that if we aren’t doing more and more that we’re not living the life to the fullest. Even with things that are relatively innocuous, like saving money, we’re told that if our money isn’t “doing something” than it’s being wasteful. It’s enough to make one’s head explode…

    One thing I have noticed is that I can have a lot less anxiety in my life by simply tuning out a lot of stuff. My wife and I hardly ever watch TV anymore, for instance. Nor do we listen to much commercial radio – “Christian” or “secular”. I find cutting media out in these ways does a lot to reduce worry in my life. I talk to my parents or other people and sometimes I’m amazed about how they worry about things that really have little to no effect on them, or perhaps more to the point, things about which they have no control over. But that is how news channels make their money. They try to get people outraged. I find there’s a lot of similarity between, say, Fox News and the sermons that many pastors preach. They are designed to press people’s buttons.

    • Isaac (or possibly Obed) says:

      My best friend recently went to Italy to visit his brother who is stationed there with the USAF. He was telling me about the institutional nap time in the afternoon. That’s freakin’ awesome! It would never fly here :(

      • Headless Unicorn Guy says:

        Sounds like an Italian variation on “Siesta” you have in Spain and its former colonies.

    • Wow that is SO true.

  10. I have often thought that Christians need to read Lao Tzu more.

  11. Headless Unicorn Guy says:

    Nevertheless I can’t help but think that David Fitch is on to something. Maybe this “church” thing is about life and love and learning, and not just about doing.

    Maybe it’s about BEING instead of Doing.

  12. That Other Jean says:

    OK, I grant you that many churches spend way too much time coercing members into “doing.” But what they’re doing is mostly self-improvement: how to grow the church, how to have a better life for themselves, how to diet, how to budget; how to have a better marriage. It’s not about feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, or all the other things we ought to be doing for other people. I’m with James on this one: “Faith without works is dead.” I can’t buy into “Maybe the best thing we can do is nothing.” There are enough genuine needs in the world that we ought to be able to find some of them and help, but we need to concentrate on the needs of others, not our own, and do what we can for them, not for ourselves.

    • Of course, “doing nothing” is a euphemism. Please read it again. No one is actually saying cease all activity and service. Doing must grow out of being and being with. That’s what we’re saying.

    • Stuart Boyd says:

      When the church morphs into”sharing our lives togeher” and “hanging ouut together” and “it’s all about relationships” I am outta there. Doing isn’t the problem; doing for the wrong reason is the problem.

      • Stuart Boyd says:

        It used to be trendy to rant about how Consumerism had invaded and was destroying the church. But all this “new” focus on shaing our lives together is nothing more than the god of consumerism changing his costume.

        We lamented that church shopping was done based on PROGRAMS, but now it will simply morph into church shopping based on PEOPLE we can “fellowship” together with via the new name this “old” god goes by — COMMUNITY. People were “needy” for programs to fill the various holes in their lives; now their are “needy” for people to hang out with and share their lives with to fill the hole of feeling alone.

        At some point, just like in the past, people will find it trendy to rant about how this new emphasis on Community has invaded and is destroying the church. And they’ll swing back in the other direction.

        We never learn.

  13. Love this!

    Here’s a little something I’m experiencing right now in my walk. A couple years ago, a few of us in my church felt the Lord’s calling to open a coffee shop ministry in the back of our church. We have very little foot traffic on the street where our church is (it’s on a very steep hill), and it’s not visible from the road. If you were to open a coffee shop to make money and bring in customers, you would NOT place it where we placed it. We opened it with the basic motto of “Let’s see who the Lord brings to us.”

    Two years later, it’s still a very humble little place. Our regulars are a couple of locals who are retired or out of work. Every now and then some other folks pop in. The people who helped open the shop with me have moved on, leaving me as basically the coffee shop’s sole proprieter. Because of this it has become sort of a grind, and often when I go in, I wonder if it’s still what the Lord wants from me. There are times when it feels like I am truly “doing nothing.”

    Maybe that’s why this statement resonated with me:

    “Instead, our main task is to be “with” people in and around our lives long enough, years maybe, to listen and become friends, partners in life, sufficient to offer who we are and what we have become in Christ in exchange for their friendship and their support and who they are. These relationships should be characterized by
    1. Long term presence within everyday life. Being with people at same place same time each week, hanging out in same places, working alongside them, raising children in the park, sharing resources over long periods of time.
    2. Listening, helping and receiving help just as you would any other friend.
    3. Developing a mutual vulnerability.
    4. Developing trust.”

    This just helps confirm that it’s okay for me to just go in twice a week and “do nothing” but open the doors and relate with whoever the Lord brings in.

    • Not knowing the situation, I could be completely wrong here, but presumably your regular customers enjoy coming to your cafe? Perhaps it is a real blessing for them to be able to come somewhere close by?

      I read this and thought; wow, God provides a safe, relaxed space for a couple of people, instead of leading you to open a cafe somewhere with much greater thoroughfare, where you could have a much ‘greater’ impact. God really cares about these regulars. He makes sure they don’t slip through the net.

      • +1

        Rick even if you continue to show just this one couple the love, life and grace of our Lord Jesus by welcoming them or whoever else into the humble little shop that you faithfully open twice a week, you are being the hands and feet of Jesus. The very fact that you faithfully keep it open shows that you are doing it unto God and no one else.

        “Do small things, with great love.” – Mother Theresa

        • What if sometimes it’s, “do small things, with as much love as I can muster”…?

          • I hear you. I think of think C.S. Lewis quote:

            “Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.”

    • Your coffee shop ministry became a “grind”?
      Maybe that is pun-ishment enough.

    • “I wonder if it’s still what the Lord wants from me.”

      God wants you to be forgiven. After that, God’s desire is that you help people and do good, but that includes every useful job and vocation. So do whatever you think best helps people and be content.

  14. One of our regulars has said more than once, “I don’t understand why more people don’t come here. This is a great place to hang out.”

    We called our shop “FreshGround Coffee House.” We see it as “fresh ground” for people who are either un-churched or de-churched. We thought it fit with its location – at the back of a church – and we hope it’s a safe place where people can mingle with others and possible encounter God. By the way, since opening two years ago, a couple other people in our congregation felt led to begin a food pantry and kid’s clothing exchange. These are also based out of the coffee house area.

    Now that I think about it, I’ve witnessed some amazing things while “doing nothing” at the coffee house…LOL.

    • (Argh…This was supposed to be in response to Ben’s “February 20, 2013 at 12:49 pm” response to my previous post.)

    • Fresh ground. I see what you did there. But stick with the business, definately. The Kingdom begins with tiny seeds, it seems

  15. Does anybody think what David Fitch is saying here contradicts the “Radical” book or “Crazy Love” book? Those books rubbed me the wrong way for some reason.

    • Hmm…this is very interesting to me, Joel. It was Chan’s “Crazy Love” book which helped spur me to be a part of opening the coffee shop ministry I mentioned in this thread of posts. I felt at the time that the Lord wanted me “do something” (the specific call was “open a coffee shop ministry”) and I began reading Chan’s book during a period of procrastination. I’ve defended Chan and specifically “Crazy Love” in other threads where people have been critical of him, because he and his book have a special place in my heart. To be honest, there was a time when I’d done too much “do nothing” and realized I had to “do something” to show my faith.

      But here I am in this thread saying that “doing nothing” feels right right now (for me anyway) and that this article and the comments here are confirmation of that, just as “Crazy Love” was confirmation a couple years ago to “do something.”

      This could be why I love the book of Ecclesiastes. Maybe it’s not so cut-and-dried. Maybe it’s more of a “There is a time to do something, and there is a time to do nothing.” The trick is to constantly pulse the Holy Spirit and ask for confirmation for what you and I are feeling led to do or not do.

      • We went through Platt’s “Radical” in our “small group” from church. It really seemed to move our group to get out of our complacency as “comfortable” Christians. I get that and I think that’s a good thing. For me the book seemed to suggest that we’ve got to somehow earn God’s love now that He’s done it all on the cross. I may be mistaken. I’ve read Michael Spencer put it as “Law-Grace-Law”. The other problem I’ve noticed is that we tend to think “doing” has to be

        I think it all comes down to motivation. Are we motivated by God’s grace or because we think God will love us less if we don’t? And motivated to do what? God is in the “mundane” (See “God of the Mundane by Matt B. Redmond).

        I think you nailed it in your last paragraph. Things aren’t “cut-and-dried”. We’ve just got to keep praying and reading His Word and let Him take care of the rest.

  16. My own denom (ELCA Lutheran) some years back offered a new understanding for our global ministries that fits this idea – they call it ‘accompaniment’. Getting to know the ‘other’, walking alongside, admitting that those we seek to ‘help’ have at least as much to offer us, too. I’ve found this a helpful understanding with my own congregation. Removes the old power structures of ‘have/have not’, makes things more equal. A different mind-set altogether.

  17. So often, an obsession with “doing” leads to an endless succession of displacement activities that distract us from what is truly important. The fruits of that obsession are burnout, pride (I’m doing more than you) and, ultimately, despair because it’s just not possible to “do” enough.

    • Working for a church can make fighting off these things a constant battle.

      • …and probably especially if you are involved with some level of ministry that involves music. Once had a singing teacher who changed my whole world view when she said to me that ‘God was more interested in my being than my doing’ if you happen to sing as part of some ministry your whole body is involved in the doing. Separating doing and being is essential.

  18. Vocation is still a better term than missional. Missional still connotes the idea that work
    and being a neighbor are means to an end to “share” about Jesus, rather than our work itself being considered ministry.

  19. Chris from Oz says:

    Many years ago here downunder there was a Christian magazine that called itself “On Being” to seek to examine what it meant to be a Christian rather than emphasizing the doing stuff

  20. Opening a Christian coffee house is an interesting idea. How about opening a grocery store in a poor community, where the big-box stores won’t go, and people can’t find stores to buy affordable, healthy produce? How about a hardware store? A bakery (selling more than cupcakes)?

  21. I love this piece of writing.

    I am sensitive to this issue from the perspective of handicaps. My wife and I are not able to participate in a lot of church activities because we have chronic health deficits. We are very blessed to go to a church where people matter more than programs.

    But we have been in churches in the past where we were basically put on the shelf and not valued because we didn’t have the energy to participate in much. And these were small churches. Sometimes I think the best place for people like us are in mid-sized churches. The small ones often need everyone to pull their weight with activities. The large ones, well, I can’t speak from experience. But they sure seem program and project oriented
    from my outside observations. Isn’t that how they bring in new members?

  22. Doing nothing is hard work. I mean doing nothing, except to be present, to listen, to build relationships with people, and be the compassionate face of Jesus within the everyday life of the community. Commando-raid projects are easy compared to the long term commitment needed to build trust and share in the lives of broken families, the unemployed, those suffering illness or loss. To sit with an elderly shut-in for an afternoon is simply not ‘big’ or ‘successful’ in the ways we are accustomed to measure outreach. Surely Jesus meant to give her a cup of cold water, then scoot off to weightier assignments having greater impact (organized by one’s church). It’s not only hard work, but often unappreciated. All too often, individual initiatives are belittled where not part of the official church program. It’s a nice personal gesture but doesn’t really count as mission because it doesn’t have the church’s brand all over it. Its hard work to be non-combustible.

    • What you say is true. It’s like loving a homely woman. She’s always been that way and always will be. So you move on to someone more acceptable or you learn to live with who you love. Here’s something that might help you live with the ways of churches and churchly people. It was mentioned here a few months ago when someone was looking for some reading suggestions.

      Embracing Obscurity: Becoming Nothing in Light of God’s Everything by Anonymous Anonymous

      • Maybe that didn’t come out right.

        Here’s something that might help you do those things you know are right and as Jesus would have you be and survive the ways of churches and churchly people. It was mentioned here a few months ago when someone was looking for some reading suggestions.

        Embracing Obscurity: Becoming Nothing in Light of God’s Everything by Anonymous Anonymous

  23. Just catching up on posts. My personal philosophy is that people don’t care what you know until they know you care. That takes time and intentionality, a hard slog in this fast paced world. I’ve been a little burned out by feeling required to do. I prefer relationship building and even at that, it has to have boundaries.