Moving on, folks. Moving on.
Reader Chris has written me a couple of notes on my overall views of youth ministry. I owe him an answer, but I’d like to open up a couple of posts on the general idea of where we are going in youth ministry. I’ve been involved primarily with teenagers for 30 of my 34 years of church ministry. For more than a decade, I did lots of church consultation and I had successful youth ministries in two large churches. I made it to a lot of large youth events down through the years and heard most of the best speakers on the youth ministry circuit.
There was a time I was really sure how to “do” youth ministry. Today….a lot of my thinking has changed. Here’s a few thoughts. More coming.
1. I’m concerned about the idea of “Biblical models” in general. By that I mean that we seem to be saying there is a Biblical component we can place in a larger machine and make the outcome Biblical. In fact, if the entire system isn’t “Biblical,” we have problems. I did what I thought was “Biblical” youth ministry in churches that contradicted most of the values of Jesus on a regular basis, but I was quite sure I was doing a “Biblical” youth ministry. I’m now of the view that the entire paradigm has to be questioned, from fundamentals to details.
2. It all rolls on how you view the church and how you see the overall church carrying out the mission of Jesus. Young people are not a subset of the church’s mission that just happen to be handed over to twenty year olds and people with guitars. Whatever the church is doing needs to be relevant to young people: worship, pastoral care, teaching, mission, evangelism, stewardship. The scary thing for a lot of youth workers is the possibility that they might have to give up their cool outreaches and trips in order to be more like the church/follower Jesus wants. We’ve been told that we can use any tool to make church interesting, so youth workers like myself were allowed to run a program of fun, trips, food, sports, recreation, etc. in order to keep young people hanging around for whatever the church was doing. We now know that those young people simply insisted that the church become like their youth group and, ta da- there is today’s evangelicalism. Oh…and there’s a bunch of our kids, never coming back to church again because they eqaute it with juvenile, shallow entertainment.
3. So I think we are talking church from start to finish, and then addressing various groups only as it is missionally and practically warranted. The Biblical “model” is a series of relationships in which we are formed and participate: God, family, church, community. Youth ministry is a subset of all four, but can’t create a fifth place where everything comes packaged for youth. And that is the issue so many older youth guys like myself feel. Back in the day, we packaged Jesus. He doesn’t fit in the package, but we made him fit. The Procrustean bed, so to speak. The results are now on display in evangelicalism. My entire family has abandoned evangelicalism for the Anglican/Catholic church. What are they looking for? What evangelicalism doesn’t have but keeps selling like it does. We are the original spiritual snake oil salesmen. So much of that started with well-intentioned youth ministry.
4. I realize that many youth workers will never be in a church that will ever do anything intentionally or reformationally. The program is already in a package and you are just supposed to get the kids there. It’s not a situation where you need to waste your time going to the pastor and elders and asking the whole church to change into something Jesus would recognize. So you have to do the best with what you have, and all I can say about that is you may need to make enormous changes in your own ideas of what you want to do. The shift from getting 120 kids to a concert to getting 12 kids to pray every morning is huge, and most churches won’t put up with it. So as I said, you have to do the best with what you have. Impact kids so they want more of Jesus. Make that your mission.
5. The “Family Led Youth Ministry” idea has some possibilities, but I am not impressed with those I’ve heard who advocate it. Show me this model, in a church producing risk-taking, independent minded disciples and not dependent, controlled, tied to parents, afraid of the world inhabitants of a ghetto mentality, and I’ll be more impressed. As of now, I cannot sign on to the “our youth program = our homeschool program” as the answer. I realize what the standard responses will be, but I do not believe home schooling can work for the majority of families. I’m happy for those that find it works, but I work with a lot of dysfunctional families and there are millions of people who do not need to be homeschooling their kids. I believe the church MUST serve all varieties of family constructions and choices, and not just affirm and encourage one.
Let me be clear that families- where there are Christian families- are obviously crucial. But Jesus isn’t creating a community of families. He’s recreating the family around him.
More in a little while on what we actually do in youth ministry: Formation for Discipleship or Apocalyptic Uselessness?
I love numbers 4 and 5. I’m 17 and have known for a while that most kids were there for fun. I’m there for Jesus. Most kids are there for Jesus, but it has to be fun or with friends while doing it. Most kids wouldn’t do it if there wasn’t any fun.
Also, for number 5, my youth ministry (which is about close to 750 on a normal Sunday [also SBC]) is about half homeschooled. They have no idea to engage culture to be salt and light. They never talk to nonbelievers. I know that homeschooling is right for some people (see Vodie Bachum’s [sp?] son). But, for the most part, in my opinion, I think that homeschooling is taken too far of shielding people from the world. We should definitely be shielded, but there is such a thing as too shielded.
Hunter: I don’t want this to become a critical discussion of homeschoolers. You may be painting with a very broad brush. I think it’s safe to say that relating to unbelievers rightly is a problem we all have. Many homeschoolers aren’t in that ghetto I referred to.
My main concern isn’t with homeschooling: it’s with the fact that many families can’t homeschool and many Christians feel they should be in the public schools or other private schools.
OK ALL: Not a homeschool post. It’s a youth ministry post. Respond to what I said but please don’t generalize.
I’m a college student and with Hunter on this. I actually fled my youth group my junior year of highschool for the adult classes at my church. It was a good call.
I was also homeschooled and I couldn’t agree with you more that homseschooling is not for everyone. But there are some very zealous homeschool parents out there that don’t understand that.
I too think the popular adjective of Biblical can sell us short. I could follow a whole pursuit of some ‘Biblical’ way of doing something and if it is not rooted in Jesus Christ and His new covenant it does not matter how many Bible scriptures I can quote to make my case. The Bible is not our Pope; Jesus Christ is our High Priest. the Bible is our handbook and God’s word but not our LORD. Jesus Christ makes His work — the post-Biblical act of redemptive human history — biblical. “Biblical” churches and programs are not necessarily rooted in Him by virtue of an attempt to be “Biblical”. I’m not saying there should not be Bible respect and a pursuit to be grounded in the Bible. But religious tradition can inform and stymie what we emphasize from the Bible while we may skip out on what the Spirit may be convicting us to do in the here and now.
Kudos for the incessant drum beat to get Christians to pursue Christ-centeredness, even if it takes more syllables to say and has a meaning not as easily assumed as the word “Biblical.”
#2. My current congregation as well as the one before it use an intergenerational approach to everything the church does. That doesn’t mean we don’t have ‘kids stuff’ but it is thought through an intergen. eye. Worship all together. Giving kids worship resources for their age to use during the service. Kids on the altar : ie, acolyte, reader, crucifer.
Logos: A kids program on Wednesday evening. Worship: older kid leaders, Meal with Adult table leaders. Service, secret grandparents, kids service to community and church.
Adult confirmation guides.
People come up with great ideas once they start thinking this way. Family retreat. Intergen. play. Combo kids and adult chior. It can be endless.
Your church consistently sounds great.
Also adults form relationship with kids through intergen activities. Somethimes it becomes a mentoring situation as the kid grows up. Allows older adults to share knowlegde with youth. Kids who don’t have stable homes feel included and part of the church family.
imonk,
Somethings we do very well. I think this is one of them.
What we don’t do well is outreach.
outreach meaning evangeliizing. We do a lot of giving outreach and service
Michael,
Until a year ago, I worked in youth ministry in some capacity for about 10 years. By the end, I found that I was so frustrated with what passed for discipleship among youth that I burned out. I am know longer a youth minister, and I haven’t been this content in years.
Part of the problem that I ran into toward the end was parental insecurity. The parents wanted to know that their kids were safe, protected from “bad” kids, and didn’t put up too much of a fight when it came time to go to church. I also found that while youth were expected to take mission trips, do service projects, and evangelize, most of their parents did none of these things. Parents have more influence than most youth workers will ever have, and hypocrisy speaks loudly.
As to #5, given my above frustrations I’ve given some consideration to family-oriented youth ministry but keep running into three issues: 1) The “too busy” parent, 2) the “it’s your job” parent, or 3) the controlling parent who creates the “dependent, controlled, tied to parents, afraid of the world inhabitants of a ghetto mentality” within their children. My personal thought is that again, the controlling parent is still reacting out of their own insecurity and fear.
I like the line about 120 kids to a concert vs 12 kids praying. It actually reminds me of my old youth group; there was a lot of good times, but just not much teaching.
Along that line, I might a #6 to your list on how many youth groups today talk about Christianity simply from a moral standpoint; that is, they discuss religion simply as the source of morality. You should love others and love God. Of course, this is a vital part of the Gospel, but without the teaching of the rest of the Scriptures it just doesn’t work to edify any real believers you might get.
I wrote a blog a week or so ago concerning the difference between evangelizing and edifying in the pulpit – it was originally about the adult church, but it should apply to youth ministry as well, if you’re interested here’s the link:
http://christspeak.com/2009/06/17/evangelism-edification-pulpit/
There are more posts coming.
I need to say this loudly: Getting kids involved in the church is usually a long way from getting them involved with Jesus. Jesus’ methods of discipleship were almost entirely “on the run” and “on the mission.” Acclimating kids to like the religious institution and the strokes they get there is often the enemy of following Jesus.
Real Youth ministry is SUBVERSIVE on a lot of levels, including of the churches that engage in it.
Imonk,
I think a lot of this is that we have missed the cross-generational connections that used to exist. In fact, Peggy Noonan spoke of it Sunday on This Week. We have now, more individual generations alive at the same time than ever, but they are less connected. Now I am starting to see it in reverse. Now almost all churches have Senior groups much like the youth groups. I look for this to get worse as the narcisistic boomers continue to age.
I have a very small church, but it has a fairly wide span of age folks, with it obviuosly being heavy towards the end.
Here are some things I have done and we have done at our church that have been good.
1. Everyone is invited to everything. I’m sure my older members don’t want to go whitewater rafting, but if they wanted to then they are welcome to go. A few older folks actually went and just rode with us. Glad to have them. Likewise we took some tweens and teens to our Leaf-peepeing trip to the apple festival with our mostly older seniors.
2. All “youth activities” are not fun. We need to have fun, but we also need work and put plastic over the elderly’s windows, or make and deliver fruit baskets to our widows, or put together school supply bags and hand them out at a local high poverty mobile home park.
3. Do shadow Sundays, or what folks have been calling for years “youth sunday’s” let them learn by doing, but also let them be involved every Sunday, I let some of my middle and high school kids that want to, read the first sripture passage of the day during the service, I call on them to pray, they lead songs when called upon.
4. I really almost cried one day when I realized that on our ushers we had our oldest male member, a real cremudgeon, and one of our newest converts, a 14 year old I baptized.
Lastly, a real peeve, of mine is how some of my (I know the are not mine) are poached by the big churches down the road offering all expense paid “mission trips” that just happen to be at Panama City Beach, or Daytona. Hmmm?
Who has the bigger group of people who in no way plan on seriously following Jesus, but think the church is fun?
Life is too short people. Go make some Jesus followers and give up on that stuff.
One of the biggest success I had as a youth leader, I didn’t even get the title youth minister, is when I started a Sunday school class for three teen boys we had who did not have an age seperate class.
We did open and honest bible lessons and became good friends. Today, all three are in their mid twenties, still in church, ivolved in their churches, one is a a minister, and two are engaged to very nice girls.
I really took them under my wing, and not bragging, I am more satisfied with the results I got there as far as overall than I am with almost anything else I did as a youth leader.
My mistake iMonk for coming out so harsh. I admit that I do have a tendency to do that when I’m on this subject. For the record, I also misunderstood your post. Please forgive me. I do not mean to offend someone over this issue. I would never want to cause disunity amongst the body, especially when I’m speaking.
By the way, I love your posts. They’re pretty well thought out.
“Who has the bigger group of people who in no way plan on seriously following Jesus, but think the church is fun?”
We hear all the time about how 80% (or whatever the number is) of our kids are leaving the church and never coming back. I can’t help but think that a lot of that 80% were just along for fun. (Of course, some would follow Jesus if we did a better job of showing them how.) If it is the case that a bunch are just attracted to the fun and not Jesus, then we’re not “losing” them. You can’t lose what you never had.
Amen, IM!
I’ve been involved with youth ministry for almost 17 years now. I’ve tried every single model out there, from strict conservative youth services, to seeker sensitive, and emergent entertainment. The result…
SPIRITUAL FRUSTRATION!
Don’t get me wrong. For years I’ve been known as a successful youth minister (based on the premise that I can pull off any trick from the youth ministry hat), but when I see the lives of many kids (now some of them grown up by now) so screwed, or at least with no passion for Jesus, it makes me wonder and rethink everything I’m doing.
I’d discover recently that the problem lies in that we are trying to accommodate a mid-eastern book cultured book (the bible) to a western mindset and work-frame. We try to proof-text every thing we do and hope it will work. But I’ve learned the hard-way that that is not the way to go.
I’m convinced that the bible (in its cultural and historical setting) addresses what we call youth, as adults most of the time. You see Jesus interacting whit kids or adults. You assume that some of those kids or adults are youth but there is no pattern to search or follow.
God’s will for spiritual formation is that parents should take care of their kids. I understand that church can help to make a difference in the case of broken families or non-christian parents. But when I see christian parents that try to delegate their spiritual responsibility to the church, thats when I see a perfect storm coming, cause you know that the outcome wont be good for the kid, and for you as a youth minister.
I’m done with christian entertainment. Am I a boring youth minister now? I bet you anything I’m not! But as IM rightly points out…
“The shift from getting 120 kids to a concert to getting 12 kids to pray every morning is huge, and most churches won’t put up with it.”
I’m in that road now.
Jesus didn’t walked around with 5.000 men all the time, giving them goodies and entertaining. He focused in the lives of the ones that will transform the world. That’s what I look for in youth ministry now.
God bless…
P.S. (Hope didn’t said anything that can be banned this time)
Eric R: We never had them and they never had Jesus, but we are still counting them as part of our megachurch stats and part of the evangelical myth. I did an interview on Issues, etc last week and the guy I followed was a pro-megachurch apologist. He never saw a person in a seat at a meagchurch that wasn’t an evangelical Christian. It’s incredible how stupid weve become on what it means to be a Christian. If you literally come to a menu of activities and say sometime that you’d rather go to heaven than hell, you’re good. Good grief.
Church-wise, we are bit on the unusual side in our family. As a family, we are involved in an evangelical church-in-homes endeavor. They also have cell groups and high-school homechurches, but we have found them to be geographically challenging and somewhat sporadic in nature.
Our eldest son, when he was in 7th grade, sought out a “youth group” situation in a local Lutheran church. We’re not Lutheran, but at his request, we met with the youth pastors and felt that this was just fine, if that’s what he wanted to do. Being the evangelical snob that I am sometimes (ashamedly), I expected nothing much to come of it.
I could not have been more wrong. The youth pastors (a married, childless couple in their late 40s) are “sold out” (sorry, kind of hokey, but it’s the only term that totally fits) to Jesus and have been huge, positive influences in the lives of all three of our sons now.
Actually, they rarely do anything “fun. They serve, evangelize, serve, evangelize, and then serve some more. In the course of all of that serving and evangelizing, they are building up a generation of young people committed to God.
Moreover, these youth pastors are committed to building leadership into these kids. They coach the kids about how to relate to others (non-Christians included) until they are completely comfortable in doing so. Every kid that is under their mentoring for long can accomplish the dreaded public speaking task. They don’t engage in the “culture war” (they never even address where they stand politically), but rather, seek to equip young people with the tools for discernment and wisdom so they can seek these answers for themselves.
I don’t know if these folks would be able to give anyone a formula on how this is all done. I think much of it just flows from their personal love for Jesus and others and their commitment to the same.
All I really know is that we are truly thankful.
Who has the bigger group of people who in no way plan on seriously following Jesus, but think the church is fun?
Life is too short people. Go make some Jesus followers and give up on that stuff.
This actually applies to every age group, every demographic. I’ll be attending a funeral this Thursday of a good friend lost to breast cancer.
Life is indeed short.
Greg R
Imonk,
You have a lot more experience than I do with other denoms, do other groups that have a more cathecismic/confirmation process and not so much a experiental process see the same loss of youth as we do as Baptist?
I’ve had a sneaky suspicion that the way we do “salvation” with the one time event not followed up by much discipleship may not be as healthy as the confirmation process you see in say an Anglican or Presbyterian church.
I should add I have zero experience with that process. So I’d love to hear from some folks.
Austin
The declining numbers of the mainline churches and the loss of members in the RCC (offset by additions from Hispanics) would indicate that nothing any church does makes much difference.
The idea that Christianity produces a second generation is an old covenant promise misapplied. I have serious doubts that we can listen to Jesus and have any real assurance that the next generation of the faith is coming automatically. Everyone for all generations of church history have this problem. Muslims are about to have it.
It isn’t just youth ministry. We spend so much time and effort trying to come up with new ways of doing things, then making them “Biblical” as an afterthought. Instead, we’d be better off starting with the Bible, letting it point us to Jesus, and following his way. So many of our obnoxious programs would get flushed down the toilet real quick. (I cringe to think how much of my favorite “ministry” would be on the chopping block.) How much of it comes down to “love God, love others” or “be a disciple, make disciples?”
The Biblical model for youth ministry is parenthood.
I don’t think Jesus would see that quite the way we do. Mark 3. The movement Jesus is starting isn’t Focus on the Family.
Imonk said
:My entire family has abandoned evangelicalism for the Anglican/Catholic church”
Imonk can I ask a question from a very hosest place being a father and husband myself with two very small boys. And please don’t take offense to the questin b/c the very act of me asking it implies that there is somethign “wrong” with where your family has ended up. That’s not my intentions.
But…
Looking back, what kind of advice can you give us young husbands and fathers about what type of environment we should be putting our families in?
Austin
I don’t understand the question really. I led my family to follow Christ. They all do. They were obviously affected by two things:
1) My decision 17 years ago to work for a Baptist school
2) The lack of church options we experienced here, esp after I left the supply ministry I had at a PCUSA church for 12 years.
My family loved the little PCUSA church. It was too small for programs. The emphasis was on Christ and family. None of my kids were part of a youth group. But they were part of a large, very revivalistic Baptist school, and that had an effect on both my children, on my wife, and on me.
I can get emotional over this, but to be here and reach the Gospel has been very hard for the rest of our Christian experience. A lot of cost for a lot of opportunity.
God called me to the opportunity and we all agree it is what God wanted. But this was not the best place to experience whatever Baptists are all about. Appalachia. No church choices. Living in a cultural time machine that’s 40 years in the past. Yesterday I preached with 4 American flags in the sanctuary.
And it’s been tough being around fundamentalists. There are people who won’t eat with me because I’mm not a Ken Hamm creationist. I’ve been castigated as a Calvinist and I’m not one. I’ve tried to balance all the controversies in Baptist life and gotten no credit and a lot of blame.
My family got what was good in our experience and now, as adults in these empty nest years, they’ve gone to the Anglican church and the RCC. (My daughter and Son-in-law will be confirmed in the AMiA next week.)
And I’m still preaching. We all love Jesus. We never disagree. We all understand the journey. And I respect all of them for following Jesus not following me.
The “successful” youth group of which I was part back in ancient times ended up sending a large number of people into what has become life-long discipleship and vocational ministry. Oh yeah, and the youth pastor got fired, too. In short order.
IMonk, what is your take on the influence the parachurch youth organizations (like Youth for Christ, etc) have had on the current youth ministry problems within the church?
My husband and I were heavily involved in a local parachurch youth group in our area in the 70′s-80′s, (both financially & he was on their board) and now see many of the same methods are being used in local churches.
As organizations, they basically are attempts to replace the church. They are church made age appropriate. Church without all the church issues.
Often effective with relational evangelism and basic discipleship. How they connect to Jesus, the larger church, the local church, the overall mission? Varies from leader to leader I expect.
As parachurches go, I’m a fan of several college ministries, esp RUF and IVCF.
Lutherans have a two year confirmation program. After that instruction a young person affirms their Baptisimal vows. Taking on those vows as an adult member of the Church.
It use to be said that when a family’s last child was confirmed the family was done. And many times it wasn’t only the kid that was gone. Until of course they married and had a kid to bring to church.
I hope things have changed and we are now retaining not only the kid but the family. Why make a vow to live amoung God’s people, hear His Word and share in His supper and proclaim the good news, to serve all poeple, follow the example of Jesus and strive for justice and peace if you weren’t going to come to church again til marriage and children?
So I hope we are doing better but traditions die hard.
Michael, I love this post. Someone said to me a few months ago that, for most of church history, there were no separations of children, youth, career singles, college singles, young marrieds, mature marrieds, senior saints and divorce care – that these labels and groups are pretty much a new thing in the history of Christendom.
My kids are homeschooled for reasons that are not relevant to the discussion, but suffice to say that, at 8 and 7, aside from some speech difficulty in the little one, they do very well in conversing and relating to adults, both in larger group settings and smaller group settings, and with a variety of people. We want them to be able to function as adults and learn to communicate with adults. So, why would we want them to limit their faith-based interactions (aren’t all interactions where a Christian is participating considered “faith-based”?) and relationships to those with other children?
We also housechurch. Currently, it’s just the four of us and we enjoy time and meals and fun with other families and folks who bless our home with their presence. But, Sunday mornings, it’s just us and Jesus. More interactive than a standard sermon (with coloring books for the kids) and one that’s completely engaging for the kids and us. And I can make sure that my kids are getting something from our time together.
I’ve often wondered at the short term mission trips to beaches and the “invitational” evangelism associated with bringing high school friends to stadium events. Of course, I often wonder why we “do” missions differently outside the political boundaries of the US than down the street. I think your concept of taking the Appalachian youth to inner cities and whatnot is the way to go. My family is always looking at opportunities locally to serve Christ by serving the community.
And I can’t help but wonder how successful youth discipleship is when many of us grown adults have no idea what discipleship is either.
BTW, to Charlie.hr, we’re homechurching because (for over 50% of 2008) I was on the road throughout the week and I felt led to do more with that 25% of my weekend than sit in a pew disengaged from my wife and kids. God really convicted me to be more involved AND to be the leader in my home.
Despite being accused of leaving the church. And yes, it’s a lonely existence. Not that the rest of the world is all wicked, but I feel like Noah. But without sons. And with daughters instead.
Some personal opinions here.
I grew up in an SBC traditional church in the 60s. Founded by my grandfather back in 08 I think. (I’m not THAT old. Kids at 40 and all that.) I recently left a very different SBC church after 17 years of my kids growing up in it. So I’ve seen a few things. (It just took me way too long to figure out the wrongness of much of it.)
How our churches deal with youth has more to do with the current culture of the US than anything in the Bible. The Bible is just the bag the meal is packed inside of and often discarded to get to the meal.
Keeping the youth wanting to come keeps the parents coming. (See a zillion or so iMonk posts on SBC numbers.)
The “segregation” of youth in our culture really got going in the 20s and 30s. Look up Dewey of the decimal system fame for how he and his associates wanted to totally change society with a new approach to raising and schooling kids. I.E. keep them kids till nearly 20 and the teachers can mold them into whatever they want. He was very successful in his goals and the church went (and still is) along for the ride.
So now we have parents shopping for churches based on the “kids programs” and whether or not the kids will go to church without a fight. NOT on whether the church will help them grow in to mature adults who follow Christ.
My 2 late teens kids have figured it out for the most part and are fed up with kids programs that don’t prepare them to be adults. But it took us not handing them money, cars, paid for college, etc… to open their eyes to the real world and realize how shallow much of what they had been taught in church really was.
And these trends are perpetuated in the “singles” and “college” ministries. Lets keep them coming with ski trips, parties, whatever and toss in a Bible verse or two.
And I’ve come to dread getting older. Why can’t us 50 somethings go to a church outing that’s fun? Why is it our age group seems to organize sewing circles while the younger folks are going to a midnight showing of Star Trek at the local IMAX. (Actually my small group does things like this but the churches as a whole seem to be oblivious.)
How about theology pub? Oh…sorry….
“How about theology pub? Oh…sorry….”
Don’t be. I’ll be there with a dozen or so friends. When and where? (Well the where has to be somewhat nearby.)
I am a homeschooler and also have serious reservations about the family integrated church model that’s being pushed in some circles (including our state’s Christian homeschooling organization). I feel comfortable with what our church has been doing to help parents take a more active role in the youth ministry, though I suppose it is still church led rather than family led. Once a month, parents are invited to participate with their kids in the youth church, and the weekly take-home papers (which are done in house) encourage parents to get involved and reinforce the lesson covered. This year they’re trying a family VBS on several evenings in which families work as a team through the various stations, beginning with a shared meal. Several of the families in our church are attending missions trips together this summer (including a local multi-day mission project), and there are lots of outreach opportunities both locally and internationally that families can do together.
I think the ´standard´ model of youth ministry is the funnel approach (get the kids in through entertainment, they are then funnelled down to evangelism, then they convert and become discipled. I believe this flawed and honestly is a waste of a youth minister’s time and the church´s money.
It also produces a false dichotomy between what is Christian and what is fun.
You have the one group that is:
a) characterised by fun, activities and a ´God spot´
and then you have the other group that is:
b)has a Bible study basis
Unwittingly is sends the message to young people that the Christian stuff is boring and the only way they will engage with the gospel and God´s Word is to package it in things that have nothing to do with what it means to be a Christian group.
What I have tried to do is run a youth program where the young people have a group that is Christian and has fun at the same time. Furthermore, the ´fun´ they have is Christian.
The reason I say that the church is wasting its money is that the funnel method long term does not work. Sure some young people do become Christians, but that is inspite of the program not because of it.
If we base our programs on entertainment (be it games or rock bands), we are using deception instead of the power of the gospel. The front door or entry level to the Christian faith mustn´t be an enjoyable time or a safe social environment. Rather, it must be built on the call to follow Jesus and a call to join the people of God (2 Cor. 4:1-5, 10:4-5 and 1 Thess. 2:3-6). We don´t need deceptive entertainment to do this. Rather, we must show them Jesus, clearly and truthfully (Rom. 1:16-17).
The message of Jesus can be distilled down to a message of “Come to Me.” He´s the bread of the world, the living water, the resurrection and life, the gate, the good shepherd, the light, etc. The Bible tells us that Jesus is attractive enough without fancy programming. We must offer him to the world on his terms, not through clever nights out or flashy entertainment. Trying to entertain hides the true source of attraction—Jesus.
I am not saying that youth ministers or youth workers are deliberately doing this. We all want to see young people put their faith and trust in the person of the Lord Jesus; but the funnel (fun and games approach) is theologically dissonant from their aims.
For example, Chad-The youth minister is driven by his theology. He is keen to follow the Great Commission of Jesus and see young people turn to Christ in repentance and faith. He is also eager to honor God in what we do. In addition to this, he wants to run communities of faith characterized by holiness and love so what does he do?
He runs a prgram where the kids play games such as; ´bum charades´, followed by ´chubby bunny´, a skate comp, then a band with the smoke machine going off! Followed by a 5 minute gospel talk at the end.
His program is not matching his theology.
Most groups have bought the lie that, to be an effective youth group, you must put on a night of entertainment so that the local young people will come, have a truckload of fun, hear a short message from the Bible, and then maybe come back next week for more. For many people, the local youth group is nothing more than a glorified coffee shop—a place to hang around, have a fun time, come back next week, and start all over. That is, until you move on to better, more fulfilling entertainment.
My conclusion?
It´s Deceptive.
It Hides the Real Source.
It Distorts the Call.
It´s Hard to Keep Up.
If you´ve ever tried to run a youth group along these lines, you´ll find that it can be very difficult to keep at it. The average shelf life of a leader these days appears to be under 18 months. In my opinion, this is because the desperate need to provide entertainment becomes too much. Most youth leaders lose momentum and burn out along the way.
My two cents worth.
A few years ago I decided to scrap youth ministry as I know it and start over because statistics tell us that most teens leave the church after high school (when we stop entertaining them?). The following outline was what I came up with, but I was never allowed to implement it. I post it here in hopes that others may find it useful, or want to refine/attack/discuss it.
Youth Ministry should be focused in five areas.
1. First and foremost youth ministry should be about equipping Christian parents to train their children up in the Lord. (Duet. 6 gives parents the mandate to teach their children making that their first ministry, Eph. 4 gives the church the purpose of equipping the saints for ministry)
a. Parenting classes – Training from the Word. An in-depth biblical study of the parenting process. Not a how-to book, but a job description.
b. How to teach your children the Word of God – 2Tim. 3:16-17, as well as Christ’s example of parables, visual aids.
c. Limited family counseling – leading families to repentance and reconciliation.
d. How to build teaching your children into every aspect of your life (based Duet 6).
e. Resources for Parents to teach/discuss the Bible with their teens.
i. Table Talks. – Discussion questions through books of the bible.
ii. In-depth book of the Bible studies.
iii. Family Devotional resources.
iv. Discussion question bulletin inserts from Sunday’s Studies with a daily scripture reading and discussion questions as well as a weekly memory verse.
f. Family Based home fellowships that are for the whole family regardless of age. If children become a distraction they will be disciplined (trained), and then returned to the study.
2. Second youth ministry should be reaching out to teens who are not saved or Christian teens who are not from Christian families for the purpose of salvation and discipleship (Matt. 28:19-20).
a. Evangelism should be focused outside the Church! (duh!)
b. Teens who don’t have families that are training them in the Lord should be “adopted†by other families on Sunday/Wednesday, and these families will become responsible for the discipleship of this teen and reaching out to their unsaved family.
3. Third youth ministry should be about mentoring Christian teens into adult Christian life. Older Women training young women, and older men training young men. (Tit. 2:3-8)
a. Two separate ministries must exist for this. Young women’s, and young men’s.
i. These will teach how to be a woman/man of God.
ii. Practical things like cooking, sewing, car repair, and home repair.
iii. In a perfect world Mens and Womens ministries will have this as a focus.
4. A class of Biblical Basics should be offered to all teens (Jr. High and up). Look at our statement of faith and make it a Bible class.
5. Direct youth to the awesome teaching already occurring on Sunday and Wednesday (instead of separating them from the larger church body during these crucial times).
Several things,
“Michael
The Biblical model for youth ministry is parenthood.”
I understand your comment Imonk, but I think a lot of youth ministry is just parents wanting someone to do it for them. The same thing I see as far as education goes as a school-teacher.
Second,
I think you understood my question perfectly Imonk, and you answered it perfectly. Frankly a lot of your answer sort of gave me a kick in the gut. I can see similar stresses on my family in our situation.
Last,
I wish I could come to some sort of middle ground myself, I find myself waffling between “There has to be some sort of solid organizational structure with real teeth” i.e. episcopal governance, to “it’s all wrong and very un-first century and home church is the way to go”
oh well
I have no suggestions, and immense sympathy for anyone toiling in youth ministry, because between the ages of fourteen and nineteen, church is boring. At that age, everything is boring.
I suppose the only thing to do is give them a solid foundation, try to avoid the “I don’t want to go and you can’t make me!” rows about Sunday morning worship, and be there for them as a constant presence and example.
But if anyone can figure out how to make teenagers like going to school/going to church/eating their greens/all the other boring stuff you have to do when learning life skills, you will be a millionaire and Nobel Prize recipient, no bother.
I got into full time youth ministry through the back door (i have a Fine Arts degree, but my current title is Youth Pastor) about a year and a half ago.
I’ve recently been reading Mark DeVries (Sustainable Youth Ministry and Family Based Youth Ministry) and there are a couple things that have really hit home with me.
1) Exciting awesome youth programs often become orphaning structures, meaning once you’re too old they kick you out and many of those kids can’t find a place in “big church” because it’s not as exciting and focused on their needs and preferences as youth group was.
2) Each recent generation of youth has had less contact with adults than the one before, we’ve given them the “privilege of being left alone.” Mature Christian teenagers often never become mature Christian adults because they don’t have a significant relationship with any and they don’t know what it looks like or how to reach it.
So the purpose of youth ministry shouldn’t be on getting kids to come to a program or even “good teaching”, but as an excuse for teenagers to develop healthy relationships with mature Christian adults who care about their spiritual well-being. It’s absolutely true that the family is the primary vehicle of youth ministry and when a family isn’t up to that task the church and youth ministry become family as best it can to those students.
I remember being totally annoyed with youth group as a teenager. If I wanted to have fun, church wouldn’t be my first choice. I actually wanted to learn about Jesus. Sad to say, I did go to one particular youth group because of the boys, though.
Many young people don’t understand that not everything in life is fun and if something is not fun, it can still be satisfying and enjoyable. Even trying to make school fun leaves a graduate student in a rude awakening. Writing papers isn’t fun at all.
Frankly, I’m sick to death of being entertained.
So forgive me, I’m an old guy (46). I was a Young Life Leader for 6 years. I was a Youth Director in a Presbyterian Church (PCUSA) for 3 Years. I was burned out, cynical and pissed-off for about 10 years. I am now on my churches (PCUSA) “Youth Oversight Committee” we call ourselves the YOCs (we pronounce it YUCKS). We oversee the staff and volunteers and provide vision and training.
I’m just a normal Joe, not a budding Theologian like some.
Youth Ministry should be done my Jesus Followers ( I’ll use your lexicon), seeking to work along side the Holy Spirit, helping to produce more Jesus Followers. To me that means to seek to walk with God 24/7. To seek the marginal and disenfranchised (kids comes to mind). To spread grace around like butter. To look people in the eye. To listen to their stories. To speak truth as best you understand it into their lives. As far as this Joe knows, that’s what following Jesus around will likely find me (us) doing.
So that’s Youth Ministry. It’s not 120 kids having fun or 12 kids praying. It’s not youth events or multi-generational events. It’s one life, sharing itself with another life. It’s two separate stories becoming one new story.
It’s really not complicated. It happens in fun times and serious times, while we laugh together or cry together, as we celebrate or as we mourn.
“Either/Or” always creates sides and losers. I don’t think its what we do with kids that matters, it’s what we teach them. I know guys who did the 12 person prayer groups, and their disciples never grew. I know guys who were always having fun (perhaps substitute joyful) and their kids have grown to follow Jesus in service all over the world.
Seek people – not programs. Use programs/events to seek people – don’t use people to fill programs–any program, whether it’s a prayer group or a trip to the beach/mountains.
I’ve been talking (debating) Youth Ministry for 30 years. And what I’m about to say has been a constant — “some of us need to lighten-up,” fun isn’t a four-letter word. Let’s remember that the Pharisees were very serious people.
Thanks for listening. It’s my first time commenting on a blog.
As for making youth ministry “biblical” two main thoughts come to mind: 1) Paul’s description of the body and its many members. Often we set up youth ministry as if to say that youth ministry doesn’t really need any contact with the rest of the church (ICor 12, e.g.) Church programs, particularly evangelical ones imho, already tend to atomize the church into what are already natural cliques: college/career, men’s groups, women’s groups, seniors, MOPS, singles, divorced, etc. rather than working to bring the church together. To my mind we need to aim to cross over these “Jew/Greek” divides, not constantly reinforce them.
2) If we are to be church, then we are to be about the work of the kingdom (e.g., Matt 25). I’ve found that young people are often quite eager to pitch in with these ministries because it makes them feel like honored, full-fledged members of the Body, and not like some sort of overgrown toddlers that need to be babysat. Is there a high-schooler or college-age student on your church council/elder board? If not, why not? (Again see ICor 12). Kingdom work is serious stuff and young people pick up on that quickly if it’s already an authentic part of the work of the rest of the Body–and maybe are even more attune to the needs of the world than the rest of us. Created “mission trips” (of varying quality and legitimacy) are by their nature only episodic and usually have “fun” as a major draw. Does that mean we should never have fun? Of course not! Does it mean that the work of the kingdom only/always revolves around fun? No, I don’t think so. The church will always run a poor second (or third or fourth) as a cultural amusement park. People eventually realize this and get their kicks elsewhere.
P.S., loved your comment: “I don’t think Jesus would see that quite the way we do. Mark 3. The movement Jesus is starting isn’t Focus on the Family.”
But also, I disagree in a way. Jesus simply brings a very different focus (outward-looking, unselfish) on a VERY different understanding of family.
Having been involved in youth work for the last few years I’ve had to wrestle with the youth work that I grew up in. I think youth work is really difficult but it’s easy for it to be overlooked by a church and given minimal attention simply because a youth leader can be relegated to the position of a babysitter for teenagers. I have two points:
i) I strongly believe in the concept of discipleship (often one on one). My heartfelt desire would be to see every teenager being ‘mentored’ by a more mature Christian in the congregation. I’ve never seen it implemented but I long to see youth work go from the youth workers responsibility to a responsibility that is shared by the whole church body.
ii) In m experience I have realised that youth work can be little more than imparting information in a classroom environment. The teenagers end up knowing all the right answers but there is little desire to follow Jesus. One idea I have been looking at is working through one of the gospels and actually trying to follow Jesus e.g. organising a party where the people invited will never be able to return the favour. Sometimes, the young people need to actually see the impact of following Jesus.
They’re just a few of my thoughts.
Your post strikes on a lot of thoughts that have been running around in my head. A lot of what passes for youth ministry is no more than well-intentioned entertainment. I don’t see a problem with some of the things that are done in youth ministry (or other ministries) as long as they serve a solid, intentional purpose. I’m afraid many don’t and, as a result, our Christians don’t end up looking like their Jesus (Ghandi?). Where is the radical call to love, look, and live like Jesus? The irony is that it shouldn’t be “radical,” it should be normal.
Francis Chan’s book “Crazy Love” talks about some of these same ideas for the church as a whole. The implications of living this out church-wide could/should be drastically biblical.
Is part of the issue our denominational paradigm and how we understand the Bible? Our cultural apathy? Just living it out?
What you win them with, is what you win them to.