the point is important and well made. But a word in the defense of Dogs. Mistreat a human and they can complain; mistreat a dumb animal and they can not.

If youown a dog they will teach you more about unconditional love than any book. Image of God? How many murders do dogs commit in a year?

We had some idealism in our early parenting that led us down the wrong road — particularly after we became Christians and fell for some of the gurus in the homeschooling movement that, as you so aptly put it “take you for a ride on your insecurities” — but in the end we had to punt on that stuff.

We made lots of mistakes. If we had more children, we’d make more mistakes, because every child of ours has been so different from the others, and needs different things, it seems that we always have new ways to mess up.

But over the years that we have been Christian parents one thing started to come clear to me. I am not going to be a perfect parent raising perfect children–and God doesn’t expect that of me, anyways. If there was a way to raise a perfect child, God would have sent a parenting method. Instead, he sent a savior.

So I try to tell the younger parents around me to lighten up and not be so afraid. Give up the idea that if you’re just extreme enough, you’ll raise a perfect child and everyone around you will be in awe.

I will be in their corner when NO ONE ELSE IS.

Amen. That is our motto, too.

I am so sorry for the pain you and your children have had to endure. Thank you for staying and being present with your children during these troubling times in their lives. As a teacher, I often see the daily interruptions in the lives of students as their parents go through a divorce, new honeys and remarriages. Because you are staying in the present with them, they will be able to bear up under the burden of emotional pain more successfully.

I am praying for you and yours.

This point is right on. Do you
remember the 2005 movie “Because of Winn
Dixie”. The mother grew tired of the
duties of family life and just left.
The movie is punctuated by several
sad episodes where the child (Opal) asks
about her (absent) mother.

This was all brought home to our family
2 years ago. After 30 years of marriage
(and about 18 years of parenting), my
wife just left and filed for divorce.
No accusation of adultery or abuse; she
just wanted to take (over) half of the
assets and find an easier life. You
have no idea how this devastated three
children and myself.

Point number 3 is so important.

Let me put on my helmet. Throw veggies now.

Why would I want to throw veggies? I’ve been waiting for years to hear someone besides me come out and say this. And, I don’t know the same fathers you do, but based on my experience, this situation is generally not due to the father’s indifference, but to some combination of his willingness to keep peace in the home and the mother’s willingness to go to the mat over this one issue. (There are probably other issues where the roles reverse, but not this one.)

They may not have been interesting or overly gifted. They may have not been creative. They may have made thousands of mistakes, but they were THERE.

Amen.