Comments on: Searching For A Community of Strugglers http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/searching-for-a-community-of-strugglers ...dispatches from the post-evangelical wilderness Sat, 21 Nov 2009 10:19:56 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: terri http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/searching-for-a-community-of-strugglers/comment-page-2#comment-458180 terri Sun, 17 May 2009 17:48:56 +0000 http://www.internetmonk.com/?p=3176#comment-458180 CHristopher I'm sorry she said ,"No." But...yay! that you risked enough to ask in the first place! And yay! that you're getting a diversity of opinions on the matter! CHristopher

I’m sorry she said ,”No.”

But…yay! that you risked enough to ask in the first place! And yay! that you’re getting a diversity of opinions on the matter!

]]> By: Surfnetter http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/searching-for-a-community-of-strugglers/comment-page-2#comment-457443 Surfnetter Sat, 16 May 2009 18:20:48 +0000 http://www.internetmonk.com/?p=3176#comment-457443 Really off-topic stuff -- post on my blog and I'll answer in detail -- I won't email you if don't desire that, I promise. :-) Really off-topic stuff — post on my blog and I’ll answer in detail — I won’t email you if don’t desire that, I promise. :-)

]]> By: Martha http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/searching-for-a-community-of-strugglers/comment-page-2#comment-457101 Martha Sat, 16 May 2009 08:43:39 +0000 http://www.internetmonk.com/?p=3176#comment-457101 Ah, that joke of mine was a bit mean, Surfnetter. Living about six miles east of a fishing village, I know it's a tough, dangerous job being a fisherman. What other species do you catch, do they all look like that, and are they for human consumption? Ah, that joke of mine was a bit mean, Surfnetter. Living about six miles east of a fishing village, I know it’s a tough, dangerous job being a fisherman.

What other species do you catch, do they all look like that, and are they for human consumption?

]]> By: Christopher Lake http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/searching-for-a-community-of-strugglers/comment-page-2#comment-456979 Christopher Lake Sat, 16 May 2009 05:26:19 +0000 http://www.internetmonk.com/?p=3176#comment-456979 Bill C., Thank you too for your comment, brother. It is frustrating to me that the more Biblically sound churches, overall (theologically speaking), which I have been in have also been somewhat "stoic," to a degree, in their handling of suffering. Of course, the elders and lay leaders would say that suffering is a reality in the Christian life and that we should feel free to express it to God and (with wisdom and discernment) to our brothers and sisters in Christ. In practice though, when I have really expressed deep suffering to leaders in these churches, I have not felt unconditionally accepted, in the sense that they were truly *entering into* my suffering, in an empathic way. Perhaps my perception has been wrong here. I hope so. About being disabled and not able to drive, and how those factors can limit one's employment and social opportunities, you are preaching to the choir! :-) I'm sitting here, in front of the computer, on a Friday night, when most of my married friends are enjoying time with their families, and many of my single friends are out having fun, in areas of the city and state in which I live, that I simply cannot get to, because of lack of transportation. I could easily fall into self-pity (and sometimes do) if I think about my life situation too much, but I try to remember Jesus's sufferings on the cross and how He plumbed the deepest depths of my suffering there-- and went much, much further than I can even imagine... Bill C.,

Thank you too for your comment, brother. It is frustrating to me that the more Biblically sound churches, overall (theologically speaking), which I have been in have also been somewhat “stoic,” to a degree, in their handling of suffering.

Of course, the elders and lay leaders would say that suffering is a reality in the Christian life and that we should feel free to express it to God and (with wisdom and discernment) to our brothers and sisters in Christ.

In practice though, when I have really expressed deep suffering to leaders in these churches, I have not felt unconditionally accepted, in the sense that they were truly *entering into* my suffering, in an empathic way. Perhaps my perception has been wrong here. I hope so.

About being disabled and not able to drive, and how those factors can limit one’s employment and social opportunities, you are preaching to the choir! :-) I’m sitting here, in front of the computer, on a Friday night, when most of my married friends are enjoying time with their families, and many of my single friends are out having fun, in areas of the city and state in which I live, that I simply cannot get to, because of lack of transportation.

I could easily fall into self-pity (and sometimes do) if I think about my life situation too much, but I try to remember Jesus’s sufferings on the cross and how He plumbed the deepest depths of my suffering there– and went much, much further than I can even imagine…

]]> By: Christopher Lake http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/searching-for-a-community-of-strugglers/comment-page-2#comment-456797 Christopher Lake Sat, 16 May 2009 01:16:08 +0000 http://www.internetmonk.com/?p=3176#comment-456797 To all who encouraged me to ask the woman out, I did, and she said, "No." At least I tried though! :-) Possibly the more important development is that as a greater number of elders become involved in advising me (as to whether or not I should express my interest to her), it turns out that more than one of them thought it was fine for me to ask her! I was definitely encouraged by that development. Thanks again for your help! To all who encouraged me to ask the woman out,

I did, and she said, “No.” At least I tried though! :-)

Possibly the more important development is that as a greater number of elders become involved in advising me (as to whether or not I should express my interest to her), it turns out that more than one of them thought it was fine for me to ask her! I was definitely encouraged by that development. Thanks again for your help!

]]> By: Surfnetter http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/searching-for-a-community-of-strugglers/comment-page-2#comment-456299 Surfnetter Fri, 15 May 2009 15:37:20 +0000 http://www.internetmonk.com/?p=3176#comment-456299 At least you knew which was which. Sometimes it gets hard to tell -- especially by sense of smell. :-) At least you knew which was which. Sometimes it gets hard to tell — especially by sense of smell. :-)

]]> By: Martha http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/searching-for-a-community-of-strugglers/comment-page-2#comment-456298 Martha Fri, 15 May 2009 15:35:56 +0000 http://www.internetmonk.com/?p=3176#comment-456298 Good grief, that's an ugly beast. And the fish ain't too good looking either ;-) (It's all in jest, friend!) Good grief, that’s an ugly beast.

And the fish ain’t too good looking either ;-)

(It’s all in jest, friend!)

]]> By: Curtis http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/searching-for-a-community-of-strugglers/comment-page-2#comment-456281 Curtis Fri, 15 May 2009 15:08:55 +0000 http://www.internetmonk.com/?p=3176#comment-456281 Surfnetter, That's one ghastly fish but at least it's a monkfish and not a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_monk" rel="nofollow">sea monk</a> or a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bishop-fish" rel="nofollow">bishop fish</a>. Yuck, I thought catching <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burbot" rel="nofollow">burbot</a> was bad enough! Surfnetter,
That’s one ghastly fish but at least it’s a monkfish and not a sea monk or a bishop fish.

Yuck, I thought catching burbot was bad enough!

]]> By: Surfnetter http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/searching-for-a-community-of-strugglers/comment-page-2#comment-456246 Surfnetter Fri, 15 May 2009 14:15:58 +0000 http://www.internetmonk.com/?p=3176#comment-456246 Martha -- Thanks to you we catch those monsters all the time -- make a lot of money with them. Go here http://www.surfnetter.com/blog/?p=49 and scroll down to see me with one. Leave a comment, and I'll be able to email you directly. :-) Martha — Thanks to you we catch those monsters all the time — make a lot of money with them.

Go here http://www.surfnetter.com/blog/?p=49

and scroll down to see me with one.

Leave a comment, and I’ll be able to email you directly. :-)

]]> By: C. Holland http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/searching-for-a-community-of-strugglers/comment-page-2#comment-456063 C. Holland Fri, 15 May 2009 10:05:30 +0000 http://www.internetmonk.com/?p=3176#comment-456063 Thank you for sharing this. As I've struggled to understand why some fellow Christians have had such a difficult time with me becoming a missionary, I believe some of it is the perfection issue that you address. It's become obvious that many of these feel that those in ministry (pastors, missionaries, etc.) not only must always be perfect now as they serve but can't have an imperfect history of any kind. Because my mother knows some of my actions when I was a child/teen/young adult were not very Christian (despite me already being a Christian at the time), I can sense that she feels I'm being deceptive to spread the Gospel now. Something like, "you did bad and were forgiven, but it disqualifies you from doing ministry now because I know how bad you were then." I guess it's being long on memory, short on grace. And I've been guilty of it in other areas myself. Being the focus of it has made me realise that it's not a healthy way to grow in Christ, either for myself or for others. Thank you for sharing this. As I’ve struggled to understand why some fellow Christians have had such a difficult time with me becoming a missionary, I believe some of it is the perfection issue that you address. It’s become obvious that many of these feel that those in ministry (pastors, missionaries, etc.) not only must always be perfect now as they serve but can’t have an imperfect history of any kind.

Because my mother knows some of my actions when I was a child/teen/young adult were not very Christian (despite me already being a Christian at the time), I can sense that she feels I’m being deceptive to spread the Gospel now. Something like, “you did bad and were forgiven, but it disqualifies you from doing ministry now because I know how bad you were then.”

I guess it’s being long on memory, short on grace. And I’ve been guilty of it in other areas myself. Being the focus of it has made me realise that it’s not a healthy way to grow in Christ, either for myself or for others.

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