Goodness gracious, iMonks. Do you know what today is? It’s the second day of March. March! As the saying goes, if March comes in like a, um, bear, it will go out like a hamster. Or something like that. March is the time of madness, when brackets are filled in and hair is pulled out. And we do have a bracket to complete, one with lasting significance. But we before we get to that, we first need to do a bit of rambling …
From the Tempest in a Teacup Department comes this breaking news: No one thanked God at this year’s Academy Awards. And after looking at a list of the winners, I’m not so sure God would have wanted to be thanked. What? My all-time favorite movie? Harvey. Doesn’t get any better than that.
And then there was no one. No pope, that is. But we do have a “pope emeritus.” Benedict XVI stepped out of his red shoes, literally, on Thursday to become, as he said, a pilgrim. Yes, I know there are all kinds of rumors swirling, as rumors are wont to do, but I for one really liked Benedict as the pope. What does a retired pope do to fill his day? Well, seeing as we have not had a retired pope in, oh, forever, this is kind of new territory. Will he buy a trailer and pull it behind a big Buick, leaving his left turn signal on? Will he wear black dress socks with his sandals and Bermuda shorts? CNN has some insight on what he might do in his retirement.
If the Pope Emeritus does wear black dress socks, it won’t be with his red shoes. Those will be retired as well. Or maybe we’ll see them on eBay. By the way, the pope does not wear Prada. The devil may, but not the pope. He wears Peruvian. Really.
As we wait to see who is next to fill the Peruvian red shoes, you can do your part by adopting a cardinal. You know, I really wish I could make stuff like this up. (Oh, I got Jean-Claude Turcotte from Canada. Who did you get?)
In our final papal news of the week, it is time to get out your pencils and fill in your picks for the Sweet Sistine. Let’s see how many of your projected winners will advance to the Elite Eight. Do you go with the higher seeds or for the upsets?
Atheists, in a weird twist, are facing religious persecution. How should we, as Christians, react to this? Do we stand with those who have chosen not to believe in God and support them, or do we just wish them “good luck with that” and let them suffer persecution? Would you defend the right of a person to not believe in God, even if that person has given you a hard time about your belief in God? Is this not where Jesus would say, “It’s easy to love those who like you. But I say, love your enemies”?
Not sure even Jesus would be too excited about this news. Seems an Italian maker of jeans has trademarked the word “Jesus” when it comes to clothing. That’s right, the makers of Jesus Jeans don’t want anyone else to use the name Jesus to market clothing. So that does away with, among others, “Jesus Surfed” jeans, and “Jesus Couture” jeans. Pardon me, but I think I just threw up in my mouth.
Oops. Family Christian Center in northern Indiana was paying its senior pastors, Steve and Melodye Munsey, just fine. In fact, better than fine. It was able to buy a Mercedes and to be part owner of a private jet for the jet-setting couple. Seems, however, they neglected to pay the $98,000 a month mortgage on the church in a timely fashion. Like for several years. Now the church of 15,000 may face foreclosure. Oh, and yes, Steve Munsey has blamed the devil for all of this trouble. All who didn’t see that one coming, stand on your heads …
This week’s sign that the end is near: Nick Saben, football coach at Alabama, has offered a scholarship to a boy who is currently in eighth grade. This kid has a similar offer from Les Miles at LSU. No, we don’t place too much emphasis on college sports in this nation.
Roving Rambler Paul Hopkins found this week’s reason-Al-Gore-invented-the-internet at the Google Play Store. Heck yes I’m going to download this to my phone. Just as soon as I can figure out how to do that. (I’m a little behind the times in that area. But my VCR no longer blinks 12:00 all the time.)
Do much shopping at your local thrift store? Best be careful. Pat Robertson says those sweaters at Goodwill just might be possessed by demons. Yes, but on Wednesdays they’re half price. The sweaters that is, not the demons.
And finally, a man in northern Ohio (which we southern Buckeyes call “Canada”) found that a bird had unburdened itself on the windshield of his car. The result was the likeness of the face of Jesus. What kind of bird could this have been to be so scatalogically sanctified? It must have been … all together now … a cardinal.
Birthday wishes were wished this last week for Peter Fonda; Johnny Winter; Dakota Fanning; Abe Vigoda; Steve Jobs; Bob Schieffer; George Harrison; Jackie Gleason; Johnny Cash; David Sarnoff; Joanne Woodward; Glenn Miller; Roger Daltry; and Smokey the Bear.
Johnny Cash. No way I could limit myself to one song by The Man. Not even two. But I did stop at three. Enjoy.