Ramblings is hearing rumblings of some big to-do down in the Big Easy this weekend. Once again, we have not paid the NFL (the No Fun League) the rights fee in order to say the name of this Really Big Game. So we will continue our tradition, started by Adam Palmer, of sliding one letter to the left, and referring to Sunday’s party time as the Superb Owl. We are having a big Superb Owl party here at the iMonastery, and you are invited to join us. I suggest you bring cookies and milk to share with us all. Until then, what say we ramble?
So, who is God picking to win the Superb Owl? The San Francisco 49ers, or the Baltimore Ravens? You say God doesn’t really care who wins? Twenty-seven percent of Americans would disagree with you on that. And 38% of evangelicals think God plays a role in who wins. Mark Galli says athletes are not role models, not even Christian athletes. I agree with him. You?
Feeling drawn to Scientology because, well, you want to be just like Tom Cruise? You may want to put your conversion plans on hold until you read a new book that pulls back the curtain and gives a look at Scientology’s secrets. One of the scariest comments by the author is this: “Oftentimes people who go into Scientology are dealing with a personal problem. If you enter a Church of Scientology building you’ll be asked, “What is your ruin?” That is, what is standing in the way of your financial, spiritual and emotional success? And they will talk through things with you and offer a menu of courses designed to help.” Is this Scientology, or an evangelical megachurch we’re talking about?
Guess what city has the most megachurch attendees? Go ahead—guess. I’ll bet you don’t get it right.
It has been a week for gay news. First, Rudy Gay was traded from Memphis to Toronto of the NBA. The Boy Scouts of America are rethinking their stance banning gays from the Scouts, upsetting Southern Baptists to no end. One Baptist preacher is “refining” how he preaches about homosexuality. It’s still a sin, just not a special sin. And a man in Tennessee took a dog to a shelter and demanded it be euthanized because he said it was gay. Really. No, I couldn’t make this kind of stuff up.
I don’t think it is related, but legislation is advancing in Arkansas that would make it legal to pack heat in church.
The Synonymous Rambler tells me of a group of women in Lake City, Florida who didn’t need no stinkin’ guns to chase off a would-be bandit. No sir, they just chanted the name of Jesus. And it worked. Really.
Oral Roberts University has a new president-elect, Billy Wilson. Wilson currently lives in Tennessee. No word if he has a dog.
Chaplain Mike brought this story to my attention. At first I thought he was making it up. Then I saw it was from Perry Noble’s church. Have you ever heard of a money-back guarantee on your tithe before? And how long before other churches jump on this bandwagon-from-hell?
The Vatican now admits it doesn’t fully understand today’s youth culture. Ok, so, who really does? But do you think listening to Amy Winehouse CDs is the best place to start?
iMonk Michael Bailey spotted this story that makes me mad. Really mad. Christians really do make the worst tippers, and those who serve them pay the price continually. How about if, as penance, this “pastor” has to wait tables at Applebee’s for a week? And all the tips she gets—if she gets any—go to the waitress she got fired.
iMonk Kevin Nelstead offers this unique look at Genesis chapter one. Just from reading this, I can’t tell if Kevin is a Young Earther or not …
And finally, have you seen those bumper stickers that read “My drop-out can beat up your honor student”? Well, something like that occurred this week at the Vatican when the pope released a dove. You know, a nice peaceful dove. I’ll bet the seagull was Lutheran …
Birthday greetings went out this week to Douglas MacArthur; Paul Newman; Bob Uecker; Eddie Van Halen; Wayne Gretzky; Art Rooney; Skitch Henderson; Nick Mason; Joe Bob Briggs; Cris Collinsworth; Elijah Wood; WC Fields; Katherine Ross; Oprah Winfrey; Jonny Lang; Gene Hackman; Dick Martin; Jackie Robinson; Nolan Ryan; and Ernie “Mr. Cub” Banks.
Ok, so maybe you are just not that into football. You can still enjoy tomorrow’s Superb Owl for the commercials. Hey, the companies advertising are spending three million taco chips per 30, so the least you can do is watch them, right? To get you warmed up for the big game, here is the E Trade Baby, who has provided us with lots of laughs on previous Superb Owls. Enjoy.