Your Rambler is in a bad mood today. I’m tired. I got two hours’ sleep after work Thursday night, then drove to Missouri to see my son graduate from Army Transportation School, then drove back home, only to have him want me to go look at a car with him. Which I am normally glad to do, but did I mention the two hours’ sleep? And ten hours on the road? And then the Synonymous Rambler and I have been going round and round on something. I think I’m wrong and at fault, but then I almost always think I’m wrong. (Is it wrong to be right once in a while? And if I say I’m wrong and I really was wrong, does that make me right?) And it’s gray and cold outside. If I wanted that I’d move back to Ohio. So I’m not a happy Rambler right now. Perhaps by the time Saturday actually rolls around I’ll be Happy, but right now on Friday night, I’m Grumpy with a capital G. Is it ok if we just get to rambling?
I am aware of the offices of apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor and teacher. What I didn’t know about was the office of evangelical political power broker. Cindy Costa of South Carolina apparently is one. She says she engages in this sport because of her “evangelical faith.” Meanwhile, a confab of conservative evangelicals (that phrase could open another can of gummy worms, but let’s not and say we did) met at a ranch near Houston last weekend to decide which presidential candidate should be the evangelical choice. Excuse me, which REPUBLICAN presidential candidate should be the choice among evangelicals. I suppose I should be grateful. After all, if they can come up with who my choice should be, that saves me the time and trouble of thinking for myself.
And then there is the all-important consideration of what Joel Osteen thinks about one particular candidate.
Apparently the number of Mexicans and Latin Americans crossing the border to the United States has dropped dramatically in the last few years. You know, all of those foreigners who some pastors and religious speakers love to shout need to be sent back to their own countries. Seems it is easier to find a good paying job with decent benefits in Mexico than it is in the U.S. right now. (How soon before middle managers, real estate sales reps and drummers are crossing from the U.S. of A. to Mexico to find jobs?) But there is an area of ministry being hit hard by this. Hispanic ministries are really feeling the pinch. How do you say “ironic” en Espanol?
We talked earlier this week about some of the clowns in the evangelical traveling circus. And as we know, there are happy clowns who make you laugh, and mean clowns who scare the living Hello Kitty out of you. Here is the latest on one of these evil clowns. This story is not for the weak of heart—or weak of stomach, for that matter.
I once heard a president of Christian university lament that there are no good Christian hand signals to share with other drivers—and I still laugh at that to this day (but not today, ’cause I’m in a bad mood—remember?). Yet First Lady and eagle-eyed rambler Denise Spencer came across this hand gesture sure to encourage many to repent and believe. “Threethrows”? Ok, your guess as to how soon we will see t-shirts with this logo on them being worn by the latest teeny-bopper pseudo-Christian heartthrobs? And in your local Christian
junk bookstore, of course.
Who said you can’t trust Wikipedia? The Vatican does. It relied on the user-generated text from the online research tool to compile biographies of 22 men selected as cardinals on January 6. What, did someone lose the key to the Vatican Library, only the most comprehensive research center in the world? And I suppose no new cardinals were appointed on Wednesday when Wikipedia went dark to protest an internet pirate bill before Congress …
Boys will be boys, except when it comes to theology. Matt Chandler and Steven Furtick are not getting along—still. Since this is my column, I can pick a side here. Chandler is a good teacher who seems uncomfortable that so many people now flock to hear him. For Furtick, see Clowns, Evangelical.
Oh my. Seems Ed and Lisa Young’s sexperiment marketing ploy of spending 24 hours in a bed on the roof of their Dallas-area church didn’t go all that well. They didn’t count on that Lucky Old Sun being so bright and they hurt their eyes. Who would have thought that the sun would be bright in Texas? Does anyone else have the Springsteen song “Blinded By The Light” stuck in their head now? (Yes, The Boss wrote that song. Manfred Mann’s Earth Band simply made it a million-seller. And the words are “revved up like a deuce,” ok? Trust me on this.)
Lutheran seminaries are the coolest! Don’t believe me? Guess who is a student at Concordia in St. Louis? See? Lutherans rock.
Wondering what movie to get from Redbox this weekend? Check out Christianity Today’s list of the Top Ten Redeeming Movies of 2011.
Ok, let’s see if I can chase away a little bit of the gloom hanging over me with this last story …
How did you celebrate Winnie The Pooh Day this year? It was on Wednesday. What? You missed it? Well, you can make up for it today by sharing who your favorite character is from the Hundred Acre Woods and why. Ready? Pencils down. Pass your papers to the right.
Happy Birthday was sung this last week to Hal Roach (creator of The Little Rascals); Andy Rooney; Faye Dunaway; Carl “Apollo Creed” Weathers; Huddy William “Leadbelly” Ledbetter; Lisa Lisa (Velez); Drew Brees; Al Capone; Vidal Sassoon; James Earl Jones; Muhammad Ali; Mick Taylor; Cary Grant; Danny Kaye; Oliver Hardy; Janis Joplin; Dolly Parton; Robert Palmer; and Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin.
Ok, if I’m going to have the blues, then we ought to cut to the chase and hear from the greatest female blues singer—oh, forget the “female” part—the greatest blues singer of them all. I hope Janis gets to lead a song or two in heaven. Enjoy.