It’s that time of week once again. Time to do a little sprucing up here at the iMonastery. Many hands make … uh, it easier to play the piano? it necessary for many gloves? There’s a saying in there somewhere, but I just can’t find it. Light work. That’s it. Many hands make light work. So iMonks, get your hands around a mop or a broom—with or without gloves—and let’s ramble.
Monday is the Presidential Inauguration, a time once every four years when we get to debate why one person and not another was selected to “pray” (read: give a religious-sounding short speech that won’t offend anyone except, we can assume, God) for the president upon this grand day. There is also the National Prayer Service held the following day, where Methodist preacher Adam Hamilton will speak. Here’s a shout-out to my boy Adam, a fellow graduate of Oral Roberts University. No, I don’t know Adam Hamilton. But he gets to preach to the president and the nation on Tuesday, which probably means he has never said anything controversial before in his life. And that, to me, means he’s never said anything. Am I wrong?
Lance Armstrong says he fibbed when he said he had not taken performance-enhancing drugs. In other news, it has been determined that ice is cold. Armstrong went on Oprah Winfrey’s OWN network (which presumably has such low ratings that Winfrey took out national ads prior to the Armstrong show to tell people how to find it) and answered some questions. But did he confess? Are there outward signs to observe when deciding if someone’s confession is genuine, or are we best to accept it at face value and let God determine the sincerity level?
Meanwhile, the Manti Te’o girlfriend hoax story is just, I don’t know, creepy. Although I do like the cheekiness of this picture.
Those who live by the sword … Seems Larry Tomczak, a pastor at Bethel World Outreach Church south of Nashville, Tennessee and author of, among others, a book called Little Handbook On Loving Correction, has been accused of giving “loving correction” to a woman from his former church for more than 25 years, among others. Tomczak, one of the founders of Sovereign Grace Ministries (which he then left in a dispute with CJ Mahaney), has been named in a lawsuit filed by eight people who allege abuse by SGM ministers. Why would any reasonable adult allow their pastor to spank them? I guess the key word there is “reasonable.”
Eagle-eyed rambler Adam Palmer spotted this story about Father John Misty and his not-so-subtle slamming of evangelicals in Colorado Springs.
What can you get for 200 shekels these days? According to this story sent in by brianthedad, you can get a certificate to show you are a genuine prophet. I wonder how much Jeremiah or Isaiah had to pay…
Snake handling in churches is on the rise in parts of the south, according to this report filed by Randy Thompson. I’m just wondering … how different is snake handling from what goes on in many megachurches, like being “slain in the Spirit,” or “holy laughter”?
Have you heard the one about seven Jewish men who advertising on Craig’s List for seven women to share Shabbat dinner with? Are you already humming some tunes from Seven Brides For Seven Brothers?
We have all kinds of Bibles. The Manga Bible. Max Lucado Devotional Bible. C.S. Lewis Bible. So why not a Skeptic’s Bible? Fellow iMonk Miguel spotted this and said he could not stop laughing. Miguel, I felt the same way about the American Patriot’s Bible.
Finally, the Synonymous Rambler says we need to turn our attention to that great marriage guru, Pat Robertson. Seems Brother Pat has a simple explanation for why some marriages break down. Ugly wives. Yep. Look, not even the SR can make stuff like this up.
Birthday wishes were wished this last week to Tex Ritter; House Peters Jr. (the original Mr. Clean; how could I pass up someone named House?); The Amazing Kreskin; Long John Baldry; Joe Frazier; Rush Limbaugh; Kirstie Alley; Fred White; Orlando Bloom; Faye Dunaway; Lloyd Bridges; Martin Luther King, Jr.; Ronnie Van Zant; Lisa Lisa; Ethel Merman; Al Capone; James Earl Jones; Muhammad Ali; Mick Taylor; Jim Carrey; Oliver Hardy; Cary Grant; and Ray Dolby.
Music is supposed to be fun. And it doesn’t get much more fun that Earth Wind and Fire, featuring this week’s birthday boy, Fred White, on drums. And what isn’t fun about a dueling bass solo? Turn this up loud and enjoy.