October 20, 2017

Priceless BHT Comment

BHT Fellow Judson posted: “I just received a recorded phone call from my pastor inviting me to attend Easter Sunday.”

Lurker Eric replied with this gem:

“Press 1 if you will be attending the Traditional Easter Sunrise Service to be held in the (insert local Jr. College stadium here).” “Press 2 if you will be attending the 8:30 Traditional/Contemporary Easter Cantata Service to be held in the main auditorium/gymnasium.” “Pres 3 if you will be attending the 10:00 Contemporary/Revelant Passion Interpretation in the Holy Grounds Coffee shop. Seating is limited, please reserve soon.” “Press 4 if you will be bringing a friend to the 10:30 Resurrection Sunday Pageant. If you’re friend is not a Christian but is sensitive to the christian lifestyle/worldview, please leave their name and address so the Seeker Strike Team can visit them next Tuesday.” “Press 9 to hear these selections again or Press ‘O’ for the operator…Thank you for calling Valley Central Fellowship and Worship Center…” Eric the Lurker from Redding

Comments

  1. I love it! But it is sad – this is really what we are coming too.

    Eric forgot, “Press 5 to attend our Easter egg hunt and worship celebration at the (insert your local area mall here) mall. Right next to Starbucks.”

  2. Vern Kirkman says:

    It’s too true to be funny. Too many churches are run like business enterprises and/or entertainment centers.

  3. not to do shameless self-promotion (well, ok, maybe a little bit), check out Tuesday’s installment of The Office:

    http://www.theofficecomic.com/comics/2005-03-22.gif

  4. *Bows to the crowd*

    Why…thank you Michael!

    Yes…churches do tend to pull out the stops around Easter…too bad some of them forget what the season if about…

    Eric 😉

  5. I had a voicemail card in my computer about 13 years ago that allowed dial-out delivery of messages and response from those contacted. I put a message for delievery to the numbers of the men of our church to remind them of our men’s Bible study the upcoming Saturday. The message was to go out on Thursday. The delivery protocol could be set to begin at the time selected. The program had a default of 12:01 AM. You guessed it — I forgot to set the delievery time, and it started dialing out at 12:01 Thursday AM. I had it dial me first in sequence, so I knew that it was operating. But when I realized what was happening, I couldn’t dial in to the computer to stop it. It called about 20 guys to deliver its message. I heard from only one person, though — he just said he figured there’d been a goof-up, and shrugged it off. I stopped using that feature of the voicemail card after that, and went to postcards for reminders (this was in the day before many had email).

  6. Here’s a great site that you might enjoy:

    http://www.churchmarketingsucks.com/

    Churches are crazy these days.

    Rose

  7. We were visiting a church today for Easter service and the senior pastor came out dressed in a bunny suit. I kid you not. My wife and I took this for about 5 minutes, and then got up in the middle of the service and walked out.