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In my insignificant appraisal fishing with worms is an “art conation”, in the poop indeed I over endure bait fishing continuallyy bit the art attitude that any other conation of fishing has period been proclaimed to be. The key is to decide endure bait (or in the example of this article endure worm) fishing earnestly, and to pay out in the nick of b soon on the splash practicing your craft.

A Search Institute study showed that children were overwhelmingly influenced in their faith, not by a youth leader or pastor, but by spending time in worship with a significant person in their life, ie. parent, grandparent. The gist of this was that the time a child spends with you watching you sing, pray, listen to holy scripture and model heartfelt worship as response to God’s love is more influential on the child’s faith development than all of the children’s church and youth programs combined. And yet, we continue to segregate our children and youth from adults and older people in worship.

I believe children should be in worship with their parents for most, if not all of the service. If you made it to the end of this thread without reading Sparki’s comments (Dec 5 4:28) go back and at least read her 8 practical suggestions for making church work with a family. I especially liked the idea of reading through the appointed lessons for the day before church (I don’t think I could do it in the morning though!) Lots of churches print the folowing week’s lessons in the bulletin for just this purpose.

I think it’s important that kids feel that going to church is a special thing. Our four kids have always had church clothes and shoes that were just worn on Sundays. We didn’t ever get too fancy – and they might only have two outfits that rotated in a season – but they always knew what to wear to church. I’m pretty laundry-challenged, and this really was easy to keep together. My 7 yr old will even refuse to wear his “church clothes” to school, even if that’s all that is clean.

We also always had a “church bag” that was hung in the back hall and ready to go just for Sunday mornings. I replaced fruit snacks and cheerios occassionally (please don’t tell me you don’t approve of the snack thing -good for you if your kids got by without it) and changed out a quiet soft toy every once in a while for variety. This bag was always stocked with Jesus story books – and I rotated seasonal ones for Christmas and Easter. I am so NOT a together/organized person, but this made me feel really together and the kids like their special “church bag.”

Unless we walk in to church really late, we try to sit in the front. We’d been told to do this and it was hard to make ourselves do, but it really helps. My kids are worst in the balcony where they feel invisible and they can’t see anything.

I had to laugh a few times reading the posts because people at our liturgical church are always suggesting that we should move to a more family-friendly contemporary evangelical style service. I’ve always felt that the liturgical framework is extremely family-friendly and I read confirmation of that over and over again (sorry if you don’t “get it” but doesn’t it make you the least bit curious that you might be missing something?)

Since my kids were old enough to talk they’ve been singing and dancing to parts of the liturgy. Throughout the service there are places where the children can participate. By 4-5 my kids (not all Mensa candidates) had much of the liturgical service memorized so they could participate long before they could read. You can worry about mindless repetition later, but they will know scripture from the liturgy long after their memory fails them in their golden years.

The colors of the season and banners in the front of the church are visual eye candy, as are crosses, candles and stained glass windows. I can appreciate the value of a house-chuch experience, but I personally feel blessed to have an aesthetically beautiful space that feels “holy and set-apart” for worship.

Our church has children’s bulletins based on the lessons of the day and a children’s message every Sunday that the children come up to the chancel for. Although children don’t take communion at our church, they are encouraged to come up with their families to receive a blessing. The pastor touches them on the head or forehead and speaks a simple blessing to them – often by name. We also use children’s choirs regularly, include children as ushers with their parents, and have a staffed nursery(with the service audio piped in.

I’ve often felt we could do more as a church (church bags, better children’s messages, quiet instruments for children to play during songs…lots of ideas on my “maybe some day” list for my church, but reading these posts made me pretty thankful for how much my church is doing already. Now I just have to find a way to help my congregation understand how good they have it, since all they can focus on is what amazing children’s programming is available at the mega-church down the street!

Can I say “bless you”?

We are a young family with three children who have significant special needs. We also have a very precocious 2 year old toddler who was speaking in sentences at 12 months of age.

My husband grew up Southern Baptist, and I am Catholic. Navigating church as a family has always been a complex issue. Back when we had just just one, our agreement was that I would go to Mass on Saturday and together we went to an “Emergent” mega-church on Sundays as a family.

It was the most horrific experience I have ever had in terms of being able to worship as a family. I was openly accosted for having my son in service. If he so much as made a peep, I would take him out and then be forbidden from so much as cracking the door to hear what was being said, because I would be “disturbing” others who were trying to worship “in peace.” We attempted another church that likewise gave hostile looks at the very presence of a young child in service.

At this point I’d had enough. I was openly afraid of taking of my kids into service and due to their significant needs, nursery care would never (and still is not) be an option even if I felt personally comfortable with leaving them there, which I do not.

We finally agreed to end in worship as a family at a Catholic Church when we moved across states. You can imagine my delight when I saw that they had a Preschool Mass scheduled on a week-day morning once a month. It was our first time at this church, and I took the children by myself. My youngest was only 10 months old at the time. The Priest was wearing a beautiful vestment with hearts and rainbows on it, and she started to cry because she wanted to play with it. For a few seconds, I felt stuck in a dilemma. I couldn’t take her out without taking *all* the children with me, and I didn’t know how to orchestrate that without being even more disruptive than the crying. Just as I was deciding to leave, the Father came up without a word and stretched out his arms to my youngest. She immediately flung herself into his arms and started happily and quietly picking at his rainbow while he continued on with Mass not missing a step. He held her about 10 minutes and handed her back to me, as content as could be. Afterwards he came and spoke to us and re-assured me that no matter or manner of children’s noises would ever be unwelcome.

That’s been our church home ever since. I love that my 2 year old can shout “That’s the cross for Jesus Mama!” “Look, we sing song for God now!” “Amen!” and I don’t have to cringe or worry about making people angry. I love that my children are accepted and welcomed with open arms to learn and grow in spiritual maturity with grace and love. It’s made the hectic and harried hustle on Sunday mornings well worth it.

My husband definitely has a harder time of it than I do. He can’t focus on the homily if he has the kids there who need his attention. His solution is to attend a bible study during the week. He feels like that gives him an extra chance to focus on God that he misses when he focuses so much on the kids every Sunday.

Probably by both temperment and experience, I have grown to worship, or express my understanding of God’s worth, primarily by absorbing the forty-minute message and applying it to my life. Or by using my spiritual gifts (which lean heavily toward service) in His church. And this, more than sitting still through that forty-minute message, is what I hope to impart to my son. And I believe, at his stage in life and with his (absolutely insane) personality, our Children’s Church program, which starts right before the message, will draw him closer to Christ than an exegetical study of the book of Amos. As fascinating as that may be for me.

Which isn’t to say I mean to be derogatory toward others who value liturgy. Like I said, I respect it. I just don’t understand it. (And, of course, it isn’t to say that those who value liturgy don’t serve or apply scripture.)

Worship IS meant to be participatory. We absolutely have to take responsibility for our own adoration of our God and seek the environment that most helps us do that. It amazes me how comfortable the Father is with all our differences.