Comments on: Open Mic at the iMonk Cafe: That Not Exactly Married Couple….

By: Filling in the Gaps: Badly

Filling in the Gaps: Badly — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 18:29:28 +0000

[...] few weeks ago, Michael Spencer (aka Internet Monk) posted a hypothetical scenario entitled “That Not Exactly Married Couple” and solicited comments from his [...]

By: Derek

Derek — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 12:56:55 +0000

So, I was reading about late adulthood (65+, for those of you who wonder) in my psychology text for a course I’m taking at the largest evangelical university in America and learned that many people in late adulthood are married by the church while not being married “officially” by the state. They cite reasons of complicating inheritances and increased time with lawyers. They marry for love, yes, and compaionship, rather than uniting of families.

I’m wondering, then, if people claim to be married under God and not by the state, then what we have to say about that? What if these people in iMonk’s example chose to be married in the church but not by the courts, until such a time as they choose? After all, there are people who are married by the state WELL before they marry in the church, just for the sake wanting it to be legal before getting to the church.

Just a thought that, I might guess, perhaps nobody else considered?

By: Mark

Mark — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 23:33:27 +0000

I don’t believe that they should be barred from attending any church regardless of their sin. Jesus did not ever and does not now require that we change in order to be loved and acceptedby Him or by His body.
I would invite them to attend our church, but would also explain to them the church’s beliefs concerning marriage and living together outside of marriage — and why that would cause us not to be able to offer them membership.

By: Nathan

Nathan — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 05:36:11 +0000

Man oh man;

So, would you say that these people’s souls are less important than a law which they obviously have little understanding of? How about driving them off before you can share with them! Would that suit you?
Jesus and the woman at the well was mentioned, but did you get the fact that He was not looking down His nose at her? Please people sit down and read some more scripture and ask Him for some compassion. Not every saint will be all cleaned up and smelling nice before you encounter them.

Nathan

By: PL

PL — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 23:21:58 +0000

(Responding to Derek below)

How do I get blamed for them leaving the church? I’m not a Baptist, but I can respect a Baptist church having certain criteria for membership. Clearly this hypothetical couple does not care about living in a holy marital union – or even a state-sanctioned one. If this is part of the standard that the Baptist church has set, for professing Christians, is that wrong?

It’s disingenuous to say that the church “shoots its own wounded.” We’re all wounded and (hopefully) seeking sanctification. But I can’t agree that approving of sin brings restoration to anyone.

I completely agree that tact and gentleness should be used (and thank God, I’ve never experienced the “sin management” meetings you refer to). Ideally, shouldn’t we be exhorting each other – in love and humility – to greater faith and holiness?

By: Fearsome Comrade

Fearsome Comrade — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 19:33:39 +0000

I’m not Jesus, so I wouldn’t feel comfortable telling them God loves them. I would rather Jesus tell them himself.

By: Fearsome Comrade

Fearsome Comrade — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 19:29:43 +0000

But you didn’t discover this couple’s situation through an audit or any other kind of investigation. They came to you, explained what they were doing, and now you have to deal with it.

By: Fearsome Comrade

Fearsome Comrade — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 19:27:41 +0000

I like this answer. Even if you to the “common law” definition of marriage, you still have financial fraud to deal with. Not all sins are sexual.

By: martha

martha — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:05:42 +0000

See how Paul deals with a church in the midst of a sexual scandal in First Corinthians. He preaches the Gospel again and again and again to the faithful. That’s what helps Christians most in their sanctification too.

By: Derek

Derek — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 16:47:17 +0000

Fine. They then leave the faith and blame you. In this example, how have you loved them to repentence? What kind of restoration would we be bringing to these people?

Yeah, the church is the only organization that shoots its own wounded – until they leave and seek life elsewhere.