Michael Spencer Update, 3/9/2010
March 9, 2010 by Chaplain Mike
Chaplain Mike received this update from Denise Spencer today.
It is with a heavy heart that I bring my latest update on Michael. We have learned that his cancer is too advanced and too aggressive to expect any sort of remission. Our oncologist estimates that with continued treatment Michael most likely has somewhere between six months and a year to live. This is not really a surprise to us, though it is certainly horrible news. From the very beginning, both of us have suspected that this would prove to be an extremely bad situation. I don’t know why; perhaps God was preparing us for the worst all along by giving us that intuition.
The combination of the cancer and the chemotherapy is keeping Michael in a very weakened state. He is in bed all day, getting up once or twice only to eat a “meal.” His meals consist mostly of Ensure, with occasional mugs of soup, dishes of ice cream and milkshakes. He’s still taking fluids well, currently preferring Sprite and ginger ale. His tastes do change slightly from time to time, and I try to be ready to jump in whatever direction they seem to be moving. He is in no pain at all, for which I am unspeakably grateful.
Michael went through a period of depression, as I’m sure you would expect. He seems to have come through that now, for the most part. He knows he is dying, and he says he is at peace. Though he will still say with unashamed honesty, “I don’t want it to all be over at age 53!” he has the confidence of knowing that he has run the race God set out for him. He believes he has done the work our Lord intended for him to do, and if the last task God has for him in this life is dying, then he will do that to the best of his ability.
Through all of this, in every phase of illness, diagnosis and treatment, Michael’s faith has not wavered. I know most readers love Michael for, among other things, the transparency of his writings. If I may be allowed such honesty for just a moment, I will confess that I have been amazed at how strong Michael has been spiritually and emotionally from the very beginning of this ghastly journey. Day by day I continue to see the Holy Spirit at work in him, molding him, softening him, giving him a more childlike faith than I believe he has ever known. When the moment comes, I am assured Michael will be ready. I am the one who doesn’t want to let go.
Words can never express our gratitude for every thought, every gift, every note, every prayer you have blessed us with. Please pray for continued peace and strength for Michael, for me, and for Noel and Clay. This is the most difficult thing we have ever been through, and only with God’s help can we make it.
Thanks for the update. I don’t anyone here will be surprised with the news. Give our love to the family. We miss Michael’s presence here and our grieving began many months ago. Like all parts of the Fall of Adam . . . cancer sucks. I wish we all could donate Michael years from our lives.
. I wish we all could donate Michael years from our lives.
couldn’t say it any better than that; I would have given him decades.
Greg R
Abba, grant your son, Michael, grace as he travels this final part of his journey. Give him strength, and keep him pain free. Strengthen his faith as you draw him to yourself. Give the comfort that only you can give to Denise, Noel, and Clay. Hold them in your arms and give them your grace and peace.
I suspect that 25 years from now thousands upon thousands (perhaps millions?) of us will look back on all this — Michael’s life, death and book — as profoundly life altering and spiritual-journey defining. This is all weighty, weighty stuff.
Prayers.
Michael,
I have never communicated with you but your writings have and will continue to mean a great deal to me. I am deeply saddened by these events. Thank you for all that you have done for me.
Praying for abundant grace and strength so that Michael may continue to bear his cross faithfully to the end and may eventually find rest and peace in the loving arms of his Savior.
May God give grace. And peace. Thankful and sobered.
*sigh*
This is just devastating news for me. I’m so sorry. I feel selfish in that I feel like I’m losing one of those few articulate voices that get where I’m at spiritually…but more important than that is that Michael is a husband and father and his family would do almost anything to have gotten better news and more time than is being offered.
Lord, I pray that this cup would pass from Michael and his family. But ultimately may Your will be accomplished and your name be glorified through every part of this tough, tough journey. Grant them all peace and comfort and strength and a real, unmistakable sense of your presence and love for them. Amen.
Father God:
I echo my brother’s prayer and ask You to take this away from Michael. May Your will be done.
In Jesus’ name.
Amen.
Amen to this…with tears…you have shepherded my heart these past few years…
I’m very sorry to hear this news. May God be with all of you in this time of trouble.
Let me add my voice to all the others to express how sorry I am that you have these hard times ahead of you. I don’t think there’s any doubt that Michael’s words will live on long after he’s gone to the Lord, and that his work will continue. May God grant you peace over the next few months.
IM: praying (and will continue) for a miracle, as well as peace and strength…
Thanks for all the words here the past years… …you’ve touched so many.
I am so sorry to hear this. My prayers are with him and his family.
I am so sorry to hear this, more than words can adequately express. I only came to this website in the past year and have enjoyed the thought-provoking and challenging messages I have heard from Michael. More than enjoyed: they have changed me.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Laura
This blog has meant a lot to my husband and me. We just wanted you to know that a couple in Louisville whom you’ve never before met but whose lives you have touched will be praying for you. May God richly bless you and your family.
As Michael Jones says this news isn’t surprising but underlines the bittersweetness of a saint’s mortality. We have all the hope of the gospel and the promise of eternal life, but we also have the pain of parting and so for Denise and for those who are closest to Michael this is bound to be sad. Since I first came across the Internet Monk years ago I have greatly enjoyed, been challenged by, and shouted “rubbish” at Michael but always with the appreciation that here is a thoroughly genuine man. One of the remarkable things about Michael’s writing for me has been that his world and my world are very different and yet the things that cause the questions and the glimpses of answers that God provides are the same. My prayer will be that in the coming days Michael my yet provide us with a few more gems, that his passing into glory will be peaceful and that his family will know the peace which the world cannot give, and which the world cannot take away.
I am so, so sorry to hear this. Jesus, please be with Michael and his family.
Denise,
Thank you for this update. May God continually grant you and Michael the grace to persevere faithfully and heroically, through this cross you now carry, and provide all your needs. May the prayers of all the saints lift you up and hold you in the assurance of His love.
Always grateful for Michael’s humility, his love for Christ, and his self-giving sacrifice for God’s people.
In the peace of Christ,
- Bryan
Amen to all of what Bryan wrote.
Prayers continuing for you and your family, Michael & Denise, from the Eastern side of the church as well.
On Sunday we sang this hymn, an echo of Holy Friday:
Before Thy Cross we bow down, O Master, and Thy Holy Resurrection we glorify.
Dana
I have not joined in the conversation here very often but I have read silently in the background. Michael has given me much to ponder and many words of wisdom. I am so sorry to hear this. Blessing on you and your family. You are loved.
Mark
Grace to you all, from God our father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
to Mike and his family
Mike, we have never talked or met, but your writings have strongly affected me. You have given me the words and voice to articulate some things I had always felt about my faith and wilderness the chuch had become to me.
Rob
Michael,
I wanted to say thank you for your transparency. i honestly have not been on your page in probably 3-4 years, but when I first started to ask questions and begin a discontent with “church as it oughtta be” your words and your wrestling left me with a comfort that my answers did not rest with another gospel, but that somehow, in my early struggles, to press in further to the gospel to find what my heart ached for. You were a key component early on that God used to capture my mind before it wandered. Thank you. I am grief stricken for you and for your family, and yet as in my own reflection, encouraged by the fact that your mind has also been captured. I am grateful that even and especially now, you have not turned to another gospel, even one that might seem close to the real thing, but that you have pressed in further. Praying that you can somehow count it joy, brother. Thank you for your ministry.
I echo Trey’s thoughts here and thank you, Michael, for everything you offer as a voice of unwavering faith. I raise prayers and a cold glass of ginger ale for you and yours!
I am praying for Michael. He has been such a blessing to me through his writings over the past few years. I am so sad to hear this and I know that God heals – we will keep asking God to do just that. But I also praise God that He is revealing Himself through Michael even as he suffers. We will continue to look to Christ and pray for Michael and his family.
my thought and prayers are lifted to the Spencer family at this time. I am thankful for Micheal’s words and I pray that each of you can have “moments that remain ” in the months ahead.
I’ve been keeping silent because anything I could say would kill IMonk’s will to live. I lost both my parents to cancer; as a result I’ve become very pessimistic on the subject. IMonk’s current life expectancy of “six months to a year” is the same given my mother in ’75. (She didn’t make it that long.)
Shitfire, this has been one of my favorite blogs, and IMonk’s been one of the few Christians who’s had his head screwed on straight in the middle of the born-again granola bowl of American Evangelicalism. Wretched Urgency, Evangelism Eager to Leave, Why I Am Not YEC, Rush Limbaughization of Christianity — he’s been an island and advocate of sanity in a Christian world so increasingly insane I keep asking “Did I go crazy or did everybody else?” I wanted to see more than one book out there repeating what’s surfaced here, a library shelf giving his insights a wider audience, pulling the pins on the Holy Hand Grenades stuffed up too many Christian butts.
And if any Truly Reformed starts gloating about this or shooting off his mouth, you are hereby predestined to punch him in the throat and/or push him down the nearest flight of stairs. I’ve seen way too much Christian gloating over an “enemy’s” death.
With all due respect HUG, in this time of sadness and sorrow for Michael and his family your language is very inappropriate to say the least no matter who that is directed towards. No matter what you’ve gone through in your life no Christian is supposed to advocate any type of violent hostility towards those who you disagree with, especially other Christians. Enmity and strife are two works of the flesh that Paul talked about in Galatians 5:20.
Your potshots are what are inappropriate. Let it go for now. You can get him another time. Sheesh.
I am crying to hear this update. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, Denise and Michael. Your writing has meant so much to me, Michael. Denise, I know you’ve been the strong woman behind your gifted teacher/writer/husband. May God be pouring out much mercy and kindness on you both as this journey continues. We pray for you daily here at our house.
I have always LOVED Michael’s deep, and transparent writings. I feel really sad that we will miss him!
May you have the grace to suffer well. Love you, iMonk, you and Denise and Noel and Clay.
ALMIGHTY, everliving God, Maker of mankind, who dost correct those whom thou dost love, and chastise every one whom thou dost receive; We beseech thee to have mercy upon this thy servant visited with thine hand, and to grant that he may take his sickness patiently, and recover his bodily health, if it be thy gracious will; and that, whensoever his soul shall depart from the body, it may be without spot presented unto thee; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
(1928 Book of Common Prayer)
Amen.
Yes, Amen.
Amen. Father in heaven thy kingdom come, may your power your grace come to Michael with healing in its wings. Amen
Amen.
I am very saddened to hear this news, Denise, but I am happy that Michael has been strong “spiritually and emotionally” throughout this ordeal. I know that you have been a great factor in his being able to do that as you have helped him through all this. He is fortunate to have you in his life and we are fortunate to have you both in our lives, even if it is “only” a cyberspace kind of way. Michael’s writings have touched so many of us and will continuing touching people forever. His insistence on focusing on the grace that Jesus has for us is crucial. He wrote once that in the next level of existence we will all find each other and have a great meal together and I I will hold him to that!
I pray daily for the love of Jesus to surround, fill, and strengthen you both.
Life is so short. I love you, brother. I’ve never met you, but I will someday in heaven.
Prayers for both iMonk and you, Denise.
May Christ be with and strengthen all of you during this trial.
I am so very sorry.
I stumbled across this blog about a year ago. As I read the articles, I was so thankful that I had finally found a voice that addressed the realities of the Christian experience. I can assure you, Michael, that your impact on Christianity will not end when you leave this earth. People like me and so many others have remained Christian or had our understanding of Christianity completely transformed due to your teachings. Thank you so much. Shalom.
I’ve followed Michael’s blog for some time and was saddened like everyone else to hear this latest update, but Michael, you and your family are in my prayers as you prepare to go home. In spite of what cancer is doing to your earthly body, our Savior Jesus will make all things new for you there in the glories of heaven. I pray that Christ bring you the comfort of His cross this Lenten season and fill you with the joy of the resurrection on Easter Sunday. May the peace that comes from the words, “It is finished” and “He is not here; He is risen” dry your tears and fill you with hope for life eternal at your Savior’s side. May the God of all grace uphold and keep you and your family in his tender care now and always.
Denise, you and Michael are both an inspiration. We won’t stop praying.
Michael, I’m so thankful for who you are and what God has done through you. I think you’re going to be pleasantly surprised when you find out just how much He has indeed done. Praying for you and your family. I wish I could do more. Please let us know if we can.
Praying. Praying some more. Lord, let this cup pass from the Spencer family. Michael’s voice is so needed out here in the wilderness. Thank You so much for this ministry. May the Spencers have more emotional support than they need and more finances than they could possibly use.
This blog is the best ‘church’ I’ve found in a long while.
Yes, agreeing with Michelle….
I love you IMonk.
This is heart breaking news. Thanks for the update and I will continue to pray for Michael and Denise.
Peace
Steve in Toronto
Mike and family, My prayers are with you, may the Lord strengthen you.
Mike
Our prayers and our Father are with you and your family.
I continue to pray for peace of heart, mind, and body for Michael and ask the saints to intercede for him and especially for Denise and the family.
Thanks for the update. I’m praying. I’m sorry.
I do want to say that it was a pleasure meeting Michael at the Advance09 Conference last year. We got to chat for a few minutes and had a good chuckle. It was nice to meet Michael the person.
Peace,
Mark
I will remember you, and will ask the help of other “prayer warriors”…
I feel like I’ve just been punched in the gut. How come the rain has to fall on the just and the unjust alike? Sometimes, life just doesn’t feel fair. I will continue to hold your whole family up in my prayers. May God’s grace keep you.
John
Denise,
You and Michael and your whole family continue to be a blessing in my life.
My prayers are with you all, now and always.
I offer my prayers for you.
This update is painful to read but at the same time, I’ve known too many people who lasted beyond what the doctors gave them. My wife was told 20 years ago that she had six months (brain tumor). She’s still kicking. I’m holding out for some more time for our beloved Monk. In any case, Michael, know that your work and ministry has affected others profoundly in a good way.
Blessings,
Jim K.
Michael you have encouraged me so much while I have been struggling. I just want to say thank you! I will continue to pray for you and Denise!
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing” (2 Timothy 4:7-8, ESV).
That is for you Michael. Thank you for your online ministry that has helped many of us have our eyes opened and our self-assuredness shaken for our own spiritual good.
Michael,
I will continue to pray for your healing and your continued faith in this trial.
I have appreciated your voice as one who is unafraid to ask the hard questions, unafraid to be real and vulnerable, and unashamed of his commitment to Jesus. I also appreciate your love for evangelicalism–a love expressed in a desire to see the church be faithful to her husband.
I came across your blog at a time in my life when I was sorting out what I was going to believe. I wanted to stay true to my evangelical roots, but I saw so much of it not “working.” I was drawn to your honesty, candor, and passion. You have helped me sort through my own faith and you have made a lasting impact on my life.
There are no words at a time like this, other than that we serve a God who is too good to be unkind and too wise to make mistakes. You are loved and you are prayed for.
I have no words, only prayers.
Denise:
I am so very sorry to hear this news about Michael. He and I go way back and his wit and wisdom have been used by God in my life time and again. I am grateful for him and the gift that he is to the church. I have prayed for your family since hearing the news about cancer and will continue to do so. Please convey my love to him and assure him of my prayers. May his faith be an encouragement to you and your children and may the gospel that he knows, loves and has preached minister sustaining grace to you as you walk this journey together.
In Christ,
tom