Contrary to popular belief, a significant number of Filipinas, which marry white men, are happy to live with their rich white husband in the Philippines instead of immigrating to the white man’s country.

Furthermore, I welcome Dr. Mohler’s call for younger marriage because of the trend in our culture toward having everything in our lives settled–education, career, home–before finally deciding to marry, and then waiting even longer before having children, when the biological capabilities of conception have considerably degenerated. I’m not saying that I can prescribe a rigid rule for everyone (“you must be married by this age!”), nor do I think that there is never ANY good reason to wait, but clearly we have bought into the pervasive idea that career and education must have priority over family. This has been one factor in the widespread sexual immorality in our culture, as well as a widespread view of children as a burden rather than a blessing. Dr. Mohler’s pro-family message is appropriately countercultural.

As one who married at age 20 while still in college (and still today working on a M.Div. at Southern), I know that it was the right thing to do. We will always cherish these early years.

Your experience of “good early years” is not the only experience. In fact, the brunt of divorces and serious marriage problems I have encountered in the church are in the first 1-7 years and among those who married 18-22.

Which proves….nothing, except there is no way to generalize, and I think Dr. Mohler is generalizing, and it bothers me that such a culture savvy guy would give advice that, to me, is going to result in a lot of divorces, children in broken homes, etc.

Why? Because Christians think their marriages are better automatically because they are Christian. They think God will make it work. Bullxxxt. They set records for immaturity, screwed up emotions, denial and don’t even get me started on sex issues.

I just hear all this and I don’t see it in the Bible. I LOVE Dr. Mohler. He is a hero to me, but I don’t see the foundational role of marriage leading to an advocacy of early marriage. That’s a leap that isn’t warranted. Every person needs to decide for themselves when they are mature enough for this step. There is a lot of mythology in Dr. Mohler’s view. It’s mythology about doing something positive in the culture, but its still mythology.

Of course, I could be wrong

Aaron, forgive two responses, but I can’t stop typing!

1) Where does the Bible teach anything that authoritatively says we should be married before completing education or achieving career goals?

2) How do we conclude that sexual immorality is a function of cultural trends? Don’t Mark 7 and Romans 1 make clear that a Christian analysis of sexual immorality isn’t to blame the culture, but our own depravity? Isn’t this buying into the “salvation by marriage” message that I find disturbing?

Thursday night: Alcoholics ministry
Friday night: Singles ministry
Saturday night: Homosexuals ministry

I heard a statistic that said: for every single Christian guy who walks into a church, there are a least 3 available Christian women waiting for him. How rich. You guys get to choose, while we girls have to wait to be chosen. And the shortage of available Christian men is not just an American problem, it’s global. You know that biological clock starts sounding like a ticking time-bomb to us, whilst you guys figure you can father children til the cows come home.

So you don’t think there’s a problem here? Statistics are showing the birth-rate in America is down across the board. Infertility is not just a problem of the 30 & 40 somethings. Lest we forget Psalm 127:3…”Children are a gift from the Lord…a reward from Him.” Not some pain in our butt that must be indured after we’ve sown our oats. We are a spoiled lot.

If I had only known in my twenties what I know now, I would have pursued a husband with a vengence. God help us.

1) Overemphasizing marriage. You’re on target here, Mike, especially with churches in the “cultural warrior” mode. But where you don’t see this, you tend to get instead…

2) Overemphasizing “happy singleness”. If you just immerse yourself in doing the Lord’s work, you won’t worry about finding a mate! (Most of the books supporting this view are either written by elderly singles, or – irony of ironies – married people).

My problem is (and I suspect many others have the same problem), I don’t fit in either category. Is singleness a state where one can honor God? Certainly! And I’m sure there are those (like St. Paul) who could enjoy it at the same time. I’m not one of those. And, with all due respect, Dr. Mohler, all I can say is that perhaps some older singles *are* just blowing off marriage, for selfish reasons. But, there are also those of us who would like to be married – but it just isn’t like it was when you were young. Try walking a mile in our moccasins before you chew us out for not having walked down the aisle by the time we’re 25. Some just can’t find eligible mates in their area. Some are still bearing the hurts from being burned (or worse) by the dating system/their parents’ marital failures/being abused. Some (like me) just don’t fit the cultural norms for being attractive (and that does count for “datability”, even in the church – whenever *I’ve* tried to “take the lead”, I’ve been shot down). Slogging through life fighting (and yes, sometimes losing to) sexual temptation is a long, hard, and lonely road. And being slammed from both sides of the divide (“Just get married!” “Just let go and love God!”) does NOT help, one little bit.

You don’t like that we’re not married, Dr. Mohler? Then mentor us. Talk to us. Invite us over to your house on holidays, when we may not have our own family to be with. Pray for us. Heck, even introduce us to some eligible friends you may know! (Arranged marriages are more biblical than “courtship”, anyways ;-} )

It’s easy to chew someone out for not being married, or not enjoying being single. Finding someone who can speak the wisdom of Christ to a single’s peculiar (individual) situation, good or bad, is something else again.