If saying something that will get you fired very quickly, and you don’t have a back up plan, then think twice.

Lest any of those involved in vocational ministry think that life in the secular portion is easier, please don’t. This week, I have been involved in a rough situation at work that has at least some spiritual component. I have no idea about the details of that aspect, but it was rough.

There is a balance, You should not be a doormat but you have to stand up for what is right for you and the people you serve. The “I will get fired.” Is indeed very distressing to say the least. Should you loose your “Job”? Should the Devil chasing you win? Only The Holy Spirit can, at the end of the day give your heart the answer. That answer will NOT always be easy!

Unfortunately the verse, “don’t cast your pearls before pigs” comes into play.

When do you take on a person’s evil and how far do you go? I know there are no hard fast rules.

If You are a Child of the Living GOD through Christ; Only the Holy Spirit can tell and lead you to do what is correct in a given situation. Others can suggest and you should get all the knowledge you can. Of course my above comment with all the Bible quotes is just a way of saying you have to know what is in scripture. But at the end of the day the Holy Spirit has to lead you.

Pray, but pray knowing you have gained all the knowledge you can! Yours in Christ.

IXOYC

You wrote about being a “wimp,” avoiding conflict, being passive, etc. All of those things I can completely relate to.

Here is the difficulty for me. All of those things are easy to justify by “turn the other cheek,” “love your enemies,” etc. If you are in a church that has a strong “inner life” emphasis, it can be further justified by “subjectively experiencing the cross,” “dying to yourself and entering into resurrection,” etc. (For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, look at Wikipedia on the “Higher Life movement.”) All of these things have truth to them.

So where is the line, or the balance? To me this is a very important issue, because it’s hard for me to accept that to be a Christian, and particularly to be a Christian leader in some capacity (whether as elder, pastor, or whatever) requires being treated like a doormat or worse.

When I look back on my years in Christian ministry, there are many incidents where I think, “I should have said something. I should have stood up to the bullying. I should have insisted ‘I will not be treated this way.’” But to react that way, for me at least, can offend your own conscience because it seems like un-Christian behavior.

Anyway, I’d be interested in hearing more of your thoughts, and those of the other commenters as well. How do you protect yourself from being bullied and treated abusively, while following the example of lowliness and humility that our Lord perfected?

Sometimes I think we’ve lived parallel lives. I had very similar experiences in the two churches I pastored right out of seminary.

Like you, I’ve had over a decade to reflect on why things ended the way they did, what I did wrong and how I can take responsibility for my contributions to what happened – both good and bad.

But, one of the conclusions I’ve come to is this – in hindsight, certain things could have been tweaked in terms of my leadersip in order to avoid unnecessary controversies, which there were too many of. But I don’t believe that without sacrificing my own integrity I could have changed enough about myself to have created a different outcome in either situation.

Any time the homeostasis of a system is disrupted, there will be a reaction. If the balance that is dirupted supports dysfunction, the backlash will be especially severe.

That’s when it’s time to observe the “Fourth Ordinance” – the Ordinance of Dust.

Shake it off your feet and go on.

On being a wimp: I was treated very poorly by a key leader and I was afraid to take him on. He had the ability to run me off and I knew it. I don’t like conflict, and I really don’t like conflict with laypersons. This guy was a major stockholder and he had the power to put my family out on the streets. So he humiliated me in several deacon’s meetings and in some encounters with his family. I should have called him out, but I preferred to pretend that it would all blow over. I don’t know what I could have done, because I wasn’t willing to be fired. I think if you aren’t willing to fight and be fired, then you will be bullied by men like the one who bullied me. I was used to be liked, this man didn’t like me, and I froze. That simple.

I am a pk and am currently a seminary student. Being a pk, i have witnessed my father go through every single thing on your list but one. It was as though he were speaking to me. Thank you for writing this.

I have two specific questions. Regarding how you were a wimp, what TYPES of situations do you think you wimped out on? Is it possible to describe more how and if you feel you were wimpy? When does washing others feet and being the servant turn into being wimpy?

And, regarding #5 – How do you think you could have avoided this. I am becoming aware that I am naive about the extent that my preaching will prove to change others, but I know that in my personal life, the only change that has ever really happened has been through encountering God through the Word of scripture. Every truly transforming moment in my life has come through scripture. One of my greatest joys in being a seminarian is the opportunity I have to immerse myself in scripture. I know this isn’t the same as preaching, but how would you advise me and others, young pastors, about avoiding getting caught up in thinking the pulpit will be the primary source of change in the congregation?

Again, this is a wonderful post. Thank you.