Comments on: Dinner With The Kids: Thoughts on Successful Parenting

By: The Scylding

The Scylding — Mon, 07 May 2007 21:50:17 +0000

Interestingly, in Europe the countries with the strongest “family values”, and the lowest divorce figures, are those who have a strong tradition of families eating together – Italy and Greece (maybe also some others). Also quite interesting is that Italy is also the country in the EU that most often identify itself as Christian.

By: Michael Spencer

Michael Spencer — Mon, 07 May 2007 19:08:34 +0000

That’s hard. I can’t say I’ve been any where close to sinless and I may have passed on some of my sins to my kids. One of them is, like me, very analytical and there are sins that follow that gift.

I always try to say that those with whom we might differ over, for example, secular music, were living out their commitment to Christ in a way that made sense to them. They came a different path, but they are still following Christ. I wanted my kids to respect sincerity, but not legalism. As I said, that’s a tough path. But then “Judge not” isn’t all the truth about discernment or wisdom either.

By: David Paul Regier

David Paul Regier — Mon, 07 May 2007 18:52:21 +0000

Question about the gossipy part. Any pointers on how to address differences in family and personal values without engendering a superiority complex? We find ourselves with some huge value gaps even with Christian friends, and it’s hard to know how to communicate that well within the family.

By: Joi

Joi — Mon, 07 May 2007 17:39:17 +0000

My family always ate meals together. In fact, up until I got a job when I was 16 (we homeschooled), we generally ate all 3 meals together. Even after I started work, we always ate dinner together. My dad would invent new comedy routines involving various dinner items (including a screaming funny dialogue between himself as Ebenezer Scrooge and a baked potato playing the role of Marley’s ghost), or talk about theological things. My mom usually kept everyone up to date about political issues, and local news, while me and my sister participated in a bit of everything, There was usually some kind of discussion about the books each of us were reading, and what we intended to read next. I know that those meals shaped me deeply and permanently; I’m glad we were able to go that!

By: Michael Spencer

Michael Spencer — Sun, 06 May 2007 21:06:54 +0000

Praying that will be true. Practice with the cats.

By: Ryan Cordle

Ryan Cordle — Sun, 06 May 2007 20:15:42 +0000

Growing up, family meals were sporadic at best for us. My brother and I would get our food and go watch tv while my parents ate together at the table. Now, being part of the Spencer family’s dinner table whenever Noel and I visit is a great joy (even if I am quiet…). I definitely hope that Noel and I will be able to reduplicate the family spirit and intimacy that you and Denise were able to realize at your table. Thanks for the post!

By: Barbara Desmarais

Barbara Desmarais — Sun, 06 May 2007 03:37:13 +0000

I couldn’t agree more that making a commitment to bring the family together for the evening meal contributes significantly to creating a happy family. At the very least it means the family is making a connection to each other once a day. Opinions, ideas, stories, accomplishments, challenges and so much more are shared.

I’ve raised 4 children. Our youngest is 17. The latter years have been more challenging to get everyone together for a meal because of work and sport’s schedules but they’ve all grown up with the notion that the family getting together to share the evening meal was the norm.

Our lives are so hectic with everyone going in different directions. It’s very easy to lose the connection through all the busyness. Especially through the teens years, connection is imperative.

By: Jim

Jim — Sat, 05 May 2007 22:31:19 +0000

Good post! We agree completely, and have been having meal times together with our children “forever” (at least, that will be their memories as adults). One thing my wife, Leslie, started when they were quite small is a tradition where we go around the table and each of us have to say what was “best and worst” about our day. Part of the rule is that none of us can get out of it by saying “everything” or “nothing” as the answer for either our best or worst moments. It was work when we first started this tradition (none of the kids were even in Kindergarten yet, I don’t believe), even for the adults. Now we all typically have something to say – the exercise in keeping in touch with each other has become a tradition, and we all seem to usually have something to say now. Some days the answers are quite trivial, but other days great conversations arise from someone’s experience that day. It engenders better conversation than the classic “What did you do in school today?” (and the classic answer, “Nuthin’”). In fact, now, if Les or I don’t bring it up, one of the kids will almost always ask, “What about our bests and worsts?” I hope we keep this tradition going forever, even after they’ve moved out, but when they come back to visit, or even when we just talk on the phone.

By: brett

brett — Sat, 05 May 2007 18:25:11 +0000

I like how this relates the spiritual family as well; the value of communion. Not just eating a little wafer and grape juice, but sharing meals together.