October 31, 2014

But Seriously, Folks …

I was going to save this for Saturday Ramblings, but it is just too good to wait. Warning: Don’t be drinking anything when you watch this, or it will come shooting out of your nose. Just sayin’ …

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrzfbbgJu8M']

Comments

  1. “Please shut your mouth before the Angel of Death destroys us all.”
    [Hilarious. Make sure you you play it all the way, past the first roll of credits...]

  2. The Catholic church is promulgating Catholic teachings! Outrageous!

    Up next: will the Orthodox Jewish community stop its suppression of bacon?

  3. She sounds like all the women in my Episcopal parish. Sometimes satire is not far from the truth.

    • “I couldn’t be more of a liberal Episcopalian if Katharine Jefferts Schori formed me from the dust of the ground. And yet I still inexplicably identify myself as a Catholic.”

      :-D I love this stuff.

      Martha? Where are you?

      • Christiane says:

        I have to laugh . . . how many Catholic women does this nail, at least ‘in part’ ?
        I’m hopeful that Martha does show up and helps us out of this mess with her wisdom and humor . . .

        it is true that ‘for some reason’ many, many people who aren’t perfect (or come even close to perfect) still identify themselves as ‘Catholic’ and love the Church very much. Maybe it’s a family thing, or nostalgia for the old days, or good memories, or that nun who inspired us at school to do better, or maybe it is ‘something more’, but whatever the draw, even us imperfect ones will tell our friends: ‘if I get hit by a bus, someone call a priest’.
        There is something about the Church that gives us hope, offers forgiveness, blesses us in our weariness, and comforts our grieving . . . how can we can leave our ‘Mother’ who calls to us to come and drink deeply from the well of the Holy Trinity ? I couldn’t.
        It’s not a ‘rational’ thing. Perfect people don’t understand this I know,
        and for them, there are plenty of ‘denominations’ out there for righteous beings, but folks like me want to be in a place of safety where kneeling is the norm.

        • Great comments, Christiane! I think you speak for many of us less-than-perfect Catholics. We can love the Church and still want some things to change. I love my husband and still would be happy with some changes. And I am sure he feels the same! :-)

          And yes, the video reflects me “in part” as you say.

    • Knitting Jenny says:

      Speaking as a female Episcopalian, the funniest satire is that which is closest to the truth.
      And this is really funny.
      Thanks for the beverage warning, Jeff. I would have needed a new computer after that Schori quip.

  4. Josh in FW says:

    Thanks for sharing early. This brightened my day.

  5. Can it still be called satire if it accurately portrays how things really are?

    The vocals were so darn fast that I missed a lot of it. Thanks for those of you who quoted some parts of it.

    • Yes, Oscar, the vocals were too fast for me to catch everything. Maybe we will find it written out somewhere.

  6. Oh so cute! (And I *am* a liberal Episcopalian.)

  7. I LOVE Hans Fiene and the Lutheran Satire videos. They always have me in stitches. I especially love his “how to have an official position” vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBXcjjUujBs and the one about the westboro Baptist chipmunks.

  8. JoanieD says:

    I found some other folks discussing this video and a couple of the commenters wrote out most of the script. Here it is:

    A recent college graduate, Kelly earned a BA in Advanced Feng-Shui Marketing. A self-described way-devoted super-Catholic, Kelly has attended mass almost 7 times. Therefore, making her opinions on the theological direction of the Catholic church entirely valid and perfectly worthy of public attention.

    Question #1: Since I have absolutely no interest in knowing the scriptural and historical reasons for the male only priesthood, and since my Religious Worldviews in the Feminist Paradigm professor told me that, like, five of the apostles were totally women, I think the Catholic Church is finally ready for women priests. You guys agree, right?

    Question #2: Like most devout Catholic women who don’t go to Mass and don’t believe anything the Church says, I use birth control because babies are a lot of work and my boyfriend and I totally need to re-tile our master bathroom. That’s cool with you guys, right?”

    Oulette: “No.”
    Turkson: “No.”
    Scola: “No.”

    “You guys are lame.”

    Question #3: I like the aesthetics of the Catholic Church but don’t like its theology. I support no-fault divorce, abortion rights, gay marriage, gender-neutral language, and think that it’s mean to criticize Islam. I couldn’t be more of a liberal episcopalian if Katherine Jefferts-Schiori formed me from the dust from the ground, and yet I still inexplicably identify myself as a Catholic.

    Cardinal Ouellet: Is there a question coming any time soon?

    Kelly: Unless you want to be elected bishop of mysogyny, don’t interrupt me! My question is this: even though my utter indifference towards the church that perfectly represents my theology clearly reveals that there’s no way that I’ll ever come back to the Catholic faith, you guys will still cast aside your vows to be faithful to the teachings of the Catholic Church unto death and approve 2000 years of tradition in a pathetic attempt to woo me, right?
    Question #4: My favourite TV show is “Glee”…

    Cardinal Ouellet: Oh, sweet mercy, no!
    Cardinal Turkson: Stop!
    Cardinal Scola: Please shut your mouth before the Angel of Death destroys us all!

    • “Unless you want to be elected bishop of misogyny…” Lol, that had me rolling.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy says:

      A recent college graduate, Kelly earned a BA in Advanced Feng-Shui Marketing.

      Sounds like another Design-Your-Own-Major at UC Berkeley. If Ike Bonewitz could get one in Witchcraft and Ritual Magick, why not?