July 17, 2018

Brandon Milan- I Think My Wife’s A Calvinist

Comments

  1. The definition of a martyr is “someone who has to live with a saint.”

  2. Thank you for posting this here, Michael. I grin every time I watch the video.

    “She made me burn my NIV Study Bible!”

  3. My first edition NIV Study Bible is in the most brutal condition of any Bible I own. I still love it.

  4. Most musicians have the goal of being played on the radio or MTV… I think that getting a post on internetmonk.com is the pinnacle of my career as a musician… and for the record, I do not have an NIV study Bible… not because my wife burned it, but because i’ve never owned one…

  5. With the success of this song, I suggest you may be called to a career of theological parody songs. Seriously. Osteen. The Ed Young Sex Challenge. Think of the material.

  6. I am still laughing ten minutes after playing it for the third time! If this does not launch a five star career, we aught to shut down the net.
    I am forwarding the link to EVERYONE in my mail list.
    And Merry Christmas to all.

  7. Oh, that was hillarious! Great stuff, Brandon & iMonk!

  8. HA – that’s wet your pants funny! …could add a line “I Think My Wifes a Reformed Baptist, about to get Booted from the SBC” 🙂

  9. Well I have to say that since this video happens to about me, and shows off my incredible week old mandolin playing skills that I am very impressed to find it on Imonk. That is awesome. Seriously this has made mine and brandon’s day.

  10. My wife and I enjoyed the song.

    I’m actually a Calvinist and I:

    1)cringed at the John Piper reference. He’s great but he’s becoming nearly a pope for 5-pointers so its sad but true.

    2)laughed hysterically at the ESV reference. I actually like the ESV and NIV both and read them in tension with one another.

    And for the record I think I’d rather my wife read Augustine than Beth Moore.

  11. Just to clear a couple of things up… my wife, Leah, helped me write the song… that’s her on Mandolin (if you notice she gradually appears towards the end of the song… Both of us fall into the Calvinistic camp as far as soteriology… however, we both appreciate much of the emerging perspective… more so than most Calvinists… some of the perspectives are taken from some of the more militant Calvinists with whom we are friends… the type who burn Rob Bell books and have an altar in the back of their closets to John Piper…

    We were actually attempting to write a real song, but when one of the lines that Leah came up with sounded like the Calvinist Manifesto or something, we couldn’t help ourselves…

  12. Cute.

  13. Leah:

    Well I have to say that since this video happens to about me, and shows off my incredible week old mandolin playing skills that I am very impressed to find it on Imonk. That is awesome. Seriously this has made mine and brandon’s day.

    This has inspired me to put strings on my mandolin now… I haven’t played it since I let my 4-year-old neice play with it and thus had a string broken. I’m usually a guitar guy

  14. Oh, dear. Brandon and Leah, you just won at the internets. The whole thing can shut down, now. Michael, thank you for posting this.

    She likes Spurgeon more than she likes me.

    Hee. Take heart, B, a wife doesn’t have to be Calvinist to feel this way. Er…I hear.

  15. Now that right there is funny!

  16. Is the ESV a calvinist bible or something? Weren’t you counting down the days until the mighty ESV study bible was released?

  17. It’s not a Calvinist Bible, whatever that is. There are a variety of contributors.

    I wrote a humorous piece – or my dog did- on the excitement about the ESV.

  18. Its not a Calvinist Bible, but its used and endorsed by quite a few of the most renowned calvinists… such as John Piper. Not to mention its published by Crossway, which also publishes quite a few reformed-leaning authors…

    a lot of the militant Calvinists I know are also leaning ESV-onlyism…

    i don’t know why i’m explaining myself… its a funny song… don’t take it too seriously…

  19. ESV only? Really? On what basis? Many of these guys happily used the NASB for years. The ESV is just the ol RSV with 6% changes.

  20. I hear this and I wonder: should I be glad that I know enough about theology to understand (appreciate and laugh along with) the references it makes? Or should I be concerned that I’ve actually wasted a significant chunk of my life learning more about distinctives than becoming fully human.

  21. The people I’m thinking of are all people I went to college with — the ones with a Bachelor’s Degree and now think they know everything. Many of them are my friends… but they’re a little to militant for anyone in their “camp” and against anyone outside of their “camp.” They consider the ESV inside their “camp.” They aren’t truly ESV-only… they refuse to use anything else…

  22. Bob: Option B.

  23. I laughed very hard, and promptly posted the video to my blog with links to both here and to Brandon’s site.

    Bob, I concur with Cindy, Option B. However, in the best of all possible worlds, studying would lead to knowledge, and knowledge (after is it tested by experience) would lead to wisdom. And the truly wise person has learned to grow more and more into the likeness of Christ, thus going from “glory to glory,” from human to more fully human.

  24. Christopher Lake says:

    Why can’t I meet any women like this? I jest, I jest! 🙂

    Seriously, I’m as Reformed as they come (well, okay, Reformed Baptist), and I can’t even begin to understand an “ESV-only mentality” or anything close to it. I’m also perplexed by the mindsets of Reformed Christians who put *any* human authors on a pedestal, whether they be Calvin, Edwards, Piper, Sproul, or anyone else. They are simply fallen, fallible, gifted men whom God has used for His glory. When I hear of people lining up at conferences for autographs from Reformed “heavyweights,” I become more than a little nervous…

    It’s not ultimately about us– *any* of us, including Piper, Sproul, and so on. It’s about GOD.

  25. Cindy and Fr. Ernesto,

    Agreed. Knowledge puffs up but love builds up.

  26. Christopher Lake says:

    Gaining theological knowledge is not at odds with loving people. Gaining knowledge, *rather* than serving others and ministering to them, and/or gaining knowledge and using it to think of oneself in a proud, haughty way– these patterns in one’s life are at odds with loving people.

  27. But gaining knowledge isn’t the same as loving people.

  28. Pleae write a song about the self-conscious voice you hear when your in a “contemporary” church and you
    A. Don’t know if you’re supposed to sing…confide..nt.ly in worship, or
    B. Don’t know if your singing if when you’re not sure you’re supposed to be singing, you’re singing? or
    C. You don’t know if you’re becoming Buddhist because your ego is in a full sprint to oblivion as you encounter God and a rock band with the biggest, baddest speakers you never even seen at an ozzy osbourne concert in church.

  29. Fantastic.

  30. Christopher Lake says:

    Michael,

    Of course, gaining knowledge isn’t the same thing as loving people. However, I think that Christians can too easily fall into a false “either/or” dichotomy of thinking that we can *either* gain theological knowledge *or* love people.

    As in, “I don’t care about all of that ‘theology business’; I just love people.” Or, “Knowing what God’s word says, or even implies, about (insert subject here) is so important that I have no time for serving in the church or helping lost people.”

    Both positions are not only logically false; they are morally wrong. Christians who really want to know the God whom they worship should be growing in both loving *and* learning (to different degrees with different people on the latter, as He gives each of us different capacities).

  31. Headless Unicorn Guy says:

    With the success of this song, I suggest you may be called to a career of theological parody songs. Seriously. Osteen. The Ed Young Sex Challenge. Think of the material. — IMonk

    Weird Al Yankovic built his career on filks and parody songs.