Comments on: As the last child walks away: Clarity at the Crossroads of Life http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/as-the-last-child-walks-away-clarity-at-the-crossroads-of-life ...dispatches from the post-evangelical wilderness Sun, 08 Nov 2009 07:27:01 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: jimbob http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/as-the-last-child-walks-away-clarity-at-the-crossroads-of-life/comment-page-1#comment-7511 jimbob Mon, 21 Aug 2006 19:08:27 +0000 http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/as-the-last-child-walks-away-clarity-at-the-crossroads-of-life#comment-7511 As I remarked in another post recently, we just went through this very thing last week with our oldest. Since then it's been a process of trying to find stability, normality, and sleep! (She calls every night after band camp finishes, which is pretty late on my schedule...). We are going through all the things where she's making choices about things her peers are urging her to do (Party? No. Go over to Wal-mart at 10PM by herself? Bad idea. Myspace page? Yes-- awk!) This business of letting go as a parent, bit by bit, is the pits. But I really miss my baby. Mom's an intermittent wreck. Even the dogs miss her. Little sis mostly resents the emotional climate around home, but she's finally getting the picture, and misses her a ton besides. It's tough to actually stand on our faith that 1) we gave her the tools to navigate life and 2) that the LORD really will keep her in His hand. We're so very thankful that she hasn't given us the kind of trouble that I've seen in so many other parent/kid situations. God is good, and I feel so blessed. But it still hurts... As I remarked in another post recently, we just went through this very thing last week with our oldest. Since then it’s been a process of trying to find stability, normality, and sleep! (She calls every night after band camp finishes, which is pretty late on my schedule…). We are going through all the things where she’s making choices about things her peers are urging her to do (Party? No. Go over to Wal-mart at 10PM by herself? Bad idea. Myspace page? Yes– awk!) This business of letting go as a parent, bit by bit, is the pits.
But I really miss my baby. Mom’s an intermittent wreck. Even the dogs miss her. Little sis mostly resents the emotional climate around home, but she’s finally getting the picture, and misses her a ton besides.
It’s tough to actually stand on our faith that 1) we gave her the tools to navigate life and 2) that the LORD really will keep her in His hand. We’re so very thankful that she hasn’t given us the kind of trouble that I’ve seen in so many other parent/kid situations. God is good, and I feel so blessed. But it still hurts…

]]> By: Malu Lani http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/as-the-last-child-walks-away-clarity-at-the-crossroads-of-life/comment-page-1#comment-7501 Malu Lani Sun, 20 Aug 2006 02:06:02 +0000 http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/as-the-last-child-walks-away-clarity-at-the-crossroads-of-life#comment-7501 Thank you for these observations. How many times do we (I) forget to look at the good in our children? My daughter had a terrible senior year in high school, and headed for an out-of-state college in order to get away from this community and her classmates. It broke my heart to leave her at a school in a town one thousand miles from home. However, she chose the right college, the right husband-to-be (although it took some time for us to recognize that), the right career track, and landed a great job. She is now married to a Christian man who adores her and cares for her. She calls home often and is active in her church and lives a strong, joyful, joy-filled witness for God. My son’s life choices have not been so positive so far, but I have faith that God is working in his life and guiding him slowly and gently. He quit college (to his dad’s great displeasure), but has a good-paying steady job. He decided to move out of the house eight months ago, and my tears haven’t entirely ceased. He is dealing with some anger and with a lot of frustration, but we constantly pray for him and show him love and support every opportunity we have (those rare opportunities when we are able to see him). Even though I have disappointments where he is concerned, he is still a loving, caring young man who is basically good – he likes to drive his car too fast and he does enjoy that occasional beer with friends, but his morals are strong: he does not smoke, steal, engage in premarital sex, etc., which tells me that he did listen to our teachings over his still-young lifetime. And he gives his mother and father kisses and hugs and “I love yous” whenever we are together. Despite his problems, he loves God and I know that God will continue to work in his life and bring him fully back to Him. My heart breaks for the families who are unable to function as a close, loving family; especially those who will never speak to each other again, or those who speak unkind and ugly words to one another, and those who are so despondent over the broken relationships that they feel death is their only way to cope. Unfortunately, this is a reality check we all need. It seems to me that you have raised your children well. You will miss the youthful activity and commotion in your home, but you’ve put your children into the world on the right path. They will do well. So will you and Denise. Thank you so much for your words. Thank you for these observations. How many times do we (I) forget to look at the good in our children?

My daughter had a terrible senior year in high school, and headed for an out-of-state college in order to get away from this community and her classmates. It broke my heart to leave her at a school in a town one thousand miles from home. However, she chose the right college, the right husband-to-be (although it took some time for us to recognize that), the right career track, and landed a great job. She is now married to a Christian man who adores her and cares for her. She calls home often and is active in her church and lives a strong, joyful, joy-filled witness for God.

My son’s life choices have not been so positive so far, but I have faith that God is working in his life and guiding him slowly and gently. He quit college (to his dad’s great displeasure), but has a good-paying steady job. He decided to move out of the house eight months ago, and my tears haven’t entirely ceased. He is dealing with some anger and with a lot of frustration, but we constantly pray for him and show him love and support every opportunity we have (those rare opportunities when we are able to see him). Even though I have disappointments where he is concerned, he is still a loving, caring young man who is basically good – he likes to drive his car too fast and he does enjoy that occasional beer with friends, but his morals are strong: he does not smoke, steal, engage in premarital sex, etc., which tells me that he did listen to our teachings over his still-young lifetime. And he gives his mother and father kisses and hugs and “I love yous” whenever we are together. Despite his problems, he loves God and I know that God will continue to work in his life and bring him fully back to Him.

My heart breaks for the families who are unable to function as a close, loving family; especially those who will never speak to each other again, or those who speak unkind and ugly words to one another, and those who are so despondent over the broken relationships that they feel death is their only way to cope. Unfortunately, this is a reality check we all need.

It seems to me that you have raised your children well. You will miss the youthful activity and commotion in your home, but you’ve put your children into the world on the right path. They will do well. So will you and Denise.

Thank you so much for your words.

]]> By: BKC http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/as-the-last-child-walks-away-clarity-at-the-crossroads-of-life/comment-page-1#comment-7500 BKC Sat, 19 Aug 2006 17:48:43 +0000 http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/as-the-last-child-walks-away-clarity-at-the-crossroads-of-life#comment-7500 Thanks for the essay. "I don’t always understand the ways of the Lord..." Actually, in an odd way understanding this means you are a long way toward understanding His ways, IMO. No easy answers...This is one of times to lean hard on all the promises of a loving God to us that find their ultimate 'yes' in Jesus. God be gracious to you. Prayer and Blessings, Brian Thanks for the essay.

“I don’t always understand the ways of the Lord…”

Actually, in an odd way understanding this means you are a long way toward understanding His ways, IMO.

No easy answers…This is one of times to lean hard on all the promises of a loving God to us that find their ultimate ‘yes’ in Jesus. God be gracious to you.

Prayer and Blessings,
Brian

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