October 18, 2017

Another Look: The Advance Team Is Spreading the Word!

By Chaplain Mike

Alert friend of IM Eric N. sent me a note saying that he had seen a bus stop ad for the Rapture. Apparently, Jesus has sent his advance team out to spread the word.

Back in March, we reported the convoluted prognostications of Harold Camping, who is behind this ad campaign. Since we are only a little more than a half a year away from the Rapture (May 21, 2011) and exactly a year away from the end of the world (Oct 21, 2011), I thought we might re-visit this post.

Can’t have too many reminders, you know.

While We’re on the Subject…
• By Chaplain Mike
• Originally posted March 10, 2010

Since we’ve been talking about eschatology, the end times, and Jesus’ return lately, we might as well take a look at one of America’s foremost prophetic prognosticators.

You’ve probably heard something about the enthusiasts who think a great catastrophe that might lead to the end of the world will happen in 2012, based on the Mayan calendar, ancient prophecies, and certain natural phenomena that are predicted for that year.

Not so! says Harold Camping, citing a complete lack of Biblical support for the date. Instead, Camping is convinced the rapture will take place on May 11, 2011, and the end of the world on October 21, 2011.

Who is Harold Camping?

Camping, now 88 years old, has studied the Bible seriously for more than 70 years and  is the founder and president of Family Radio, which describes itself as “a nondenominational, noncommercial, nonprofit, listener-supported, 24-hour, Christian ministry.” He was a member of the Christian Reformed Church until 1988. An engineer by trade, Camping has an affinity for numbers and calculations. In 1970 he published “The Biblical Calendar of History,” which set forth an unconventional dating scheme that put Creation at 11,013 BC. In 1992, he predicted that Jesus would return in 1994.

One of his most controversial teachings, based on intricate calculations and interpretations of prophetic Scriptures, is that the “Church Age” has ended, God’s judgment has begun to fall on the churches, and believers should therefore abandon local congregations, study the Bible for themselves (and, of course, listen to Family Radio).

Now, here we go again. According to Harold Camping, we’re just a little more than a year away from the Rapture. How does he figure this? In a recent article in the San Francisco Chronicle, he explains.

OK, try to follow now:

By Camping’s understanding, the Bible was dictated by God and every word and number carries a spiritual significance. He noticed that particular numbers appeared in the Bible at the same time particular themes are discussed.

The number 5, Camping concluded, equals “atonement.” Ten is “completeness.” Seventeen means “heaven.” Camping patiently explained how he reached his conclusion for May 21, 2011.

“Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D.,” he began. “Now go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that’s 1,978 years.”

Camping then multiplied 1,978 by 365.2422 days – the number of days in each solar year, not to be confused with a calendar year.

Next, Camping noted that April 1 to May 21 encompasses 51 days. Add 51 to the sum of previous multiplication total, and it equals 722,500.

Camping realized that (5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) = 722,500.

Or put into words: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.

“Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story,” Camping said. “It’s the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you’re completely saved.

“I tell ya, I just about fell off my chair when I realized that,” Camping said.

How could I possibly have missed that?

Consider this an Internet Monk public service announcement. I don’t want to hear any of you singing, “I Wish We’d All Been Ready” on May 12 next year.

Comments

  1. Oh, great.

    The Parousia happens the week before my birthday. Typical!

    On the other hand, at least I’m not going to be getting any older?

    😉

    • You dont’ fool us for a second, Martha: you are having a before-the-rapture birthday party, there’s no way you are letting a silly little gathering in the clouds rob you of your well earned booty. If I’m left behind, which is likely, I’ll make sure your last hurrah get’s a write up and on the telly.

      Greg R

    • Martha, are you assuming you will get raptured? Ya know, if you’re left behind, you will continue to age. Sorry about that!

    • Headless Unicorn Guy says:

      Don’t you know all us Romish Papists WILL be Left Behind (TM)?

      Something to do with Nimrod, Semiramis, and Tammuz…

    • Well, if this guy’s wrong and the Mayans are correct…new review of their dating system not withstanding…I will miss my 51st birthday by 3 days. Doomed to miss out on thick cholesterol and confectioners sugar icing.

      I always love it when someone predicts a date because it means Jesus will not return on that day. “No man knows…”

  2. Well, I will be sure to tell my husband and he won’t have to bother applying for Social Security which he would be eligible for on May 20, 2011. As long as he becomes Christian, mind you, and gets raptured! And if he DOESN”T become a Christian, then the world is going to end less than five months after he starts collecting Social Security. He will be bummed.

  3. The absurdity of evangelical Christinaity boggles the mind!!! Some of this crap is why I am an agnositc. Being a Christian means divorcing yourslef from common sense, love for your fellow man, and the ability to show compassion and empethy to the world. Many evangelicals will say, “This is just a fringe movement” but I think of how popular the Left Behind series is, what the senior pastor of a large mega church in the Washington, D.C. area would say attaching the rapture to orthodox Christinaity.

    I tell you it’s a joke!!

    • Eagle: yes , you’re right, and the best and most appropriate response to a joke (intended or not) is to laugh. So laugh loudly, it’s good medicine.

    • The veracity of a worldview does not depend on how those who claim to follow it act.

    • Kris Stephens says:

      FWIW, Harold Camping and his fanciful interpretations of numbers in the Bible is hardly representative of mainstream evangelical Christianity. It is incredibly unfortunate that people like Camping can become the face of what really is a reasonable loving faith.

      • Kris…

        In some ways it makes no difference. The church I would suggest has been destroyed by this type fo theology. I went to a mega church in DC and the senior pastor attached the Pre-trib rapture as part of orthodox Christinaity!! Get this…a belief that is relatively new is pushed as being mainstream. The Left Behind series was also damaging. I was in Campus Crusade when that came out and it was the rage. There were Bible studies, I was told to read Hal Lindsey, etc.. Yet evangelicals turn away from the needs ot those around them and focus on this type of crap.

        I would suggest that end times theology is nothing but spiritual pornograghy.

      • I would agree with Eagle, even to the point of asking: How is Harold Camping all that different from Hal Lindsey? And why are we so focused on the rapture in the first place, that someone like Camping can gain credence at all? We should be far more concerned with being found doing what we’re supposed to be doing in the first place, rather than sitting around discussing, and supposedly waiting for, the rapture.

        I have come to the conclusion that rapture theology is cop-out theology.

  4. WeCanKnow.com? More like we don’t know diddly squat about the return of Christ, only God the Father knows (Matt 24:36). I don’t know where people come up with these things. We have been living in the end times since Christ rose from the dead (though things will get exceptionally bad right before his return).

    However, I will say this. Though I don’t agree with eschatomaniacs who set dates, I also disagree with many mainline Christian scholars who believe that eschatology is not something we should think about or that somehow Christ’s Kingdom will be fully realized by our own left-wing socio-political efforts. Both groups are seriously wrong in their own ways. We need to hear the Word of God on this matter: we are supposed to be always ready but at the same time we don’t know when the Parousia will happen.

    • To be fair, amillennialism and postmillennialism have been the positions held most often by Christians over the past 2000 years, especially after 400 ad and before the 1900s ad. Its rather tacky and self-serving to assume a particular political agenda equals the realization of the kingdom, but there is a sense in which the whole point of the church era is the progressive realization of the Kingdom (however imperfectly), until it either ushers Christ’s back or Christ comes to finish the job. (I guess we’ll see!).

      • 1900s = I meant 1800s.

      • I believe that God knows the day and time of Christ’s return. I don’t believe at all that we as humans either hasten or postpone the Parousia. The church witness to the world the Kingdom (like you said, imperfectly) but it does not alter the time set by the Father. Also, whether you are a premillennialists, amillennialists, or postmillennialists you have to agree that things will get terribly bad in a very short period of time right before Christ returns (The Book of Revelation makes this clear).

  5. It’s been nearly two thousand years since The Apocalypse said eight times that its events (including Jesus Himself) were “coming soon.”

    As a literal prophecy, why we would not stamp this “EPIC FAIL”?

    • Dan Allison says:

      Eric, I feel compelled to respond to your very commonsense observation, and please understand that I am in no way in Camping’s camp. Obviously, predicting dates and focusing on anything other than the love and work of Christ is not Biblical, and not my thing. So…..
      When you’re tallking about ETERNITY, 2000 years is just the blink of an eye. Even the New Terstament says that a thousand years is “as a day” to the Lord, and even that must be taken as poetic language. I’m amazed that it’s non-believers who read the Bible unimaginatively and “literally” while most believers understand that there’s a lot of metaphor and poetic language. God invented poetry, He has the right to use it. Please try to read the Bible as the great work of literature — the greatest, in fact — and not like an attorney looking for loopholes in a municipal zoning code. A great post on how tro approach Scripture was posted here only a day or two ago.

      • Dan:

        I don’t deny that The Apocalypse is written in symbols and symbolic language. But if one’s expectation of the Rapture and Christ’s return is based on The Revelation, one can’t get by the fact that the book itself indicates that there are some events in it that are said to be “coming soon” – and 2,000 years later is not “soon” by anyone’s definition, even if “a day is as a thousand years.”

        FWIW, the relevant verses are Revelation 1:1; 2:16; 3:11; 11:14; 22:6,7,12,20, and the words used are τάχος, ους, τό and ταχύς, εια, ύ.

    • That’s one of the arguments for preterists….Revelation and other prophecies were at least in some way fulfilled in first century events like the destruction of Jersulaem, hence “soon” actually was fulfilled literally.

      • Yes, I’m quite familiar with Preterism. Hank Hanegraaff and R.C. Sproul are partial preterists or are sympathetic to the position. Sproul wrote THE LAST DAYS ACCORDING TO JESUS based, I think, on reading Russell’s THE PAROUSIA (available to read free on the Internet). Hanegraaff wrote a novel from this perspective, which caused LaHaye to be angry that his publisher was publishing Hanegraaff’s book. Steve Gregg, author of REVELATION: FOUR VIEWS, a helpful book that lays the different views of Revelation side-by-side, is also a preterist, or a partial one; from the intro it looks like he’d been raised on pre-mil, pre-trib-rapture dispensationalism. I heard Gregg on Hank’s show a few years ago discussing preterism.

  6. I actaully listen (sometimes) to ‘Family Home Radio’, Harold Camping’s media ministry.

    There’s some good stuff there. They read aloud, directly from the Bible (without commentary), and they play some good old hymns.

    But, Harold Camping is a legalistic, nutcase.

    • Can’t exactly say Camping is “legalistic” when he’s ignoring Jesus’s comment that nobody but the Father, not even He, knows the day or hour. (Mark 13:32)

  7. Oh C***! I’ll only have my Masters Degree for a week (or less, depending on who’s right) and my son won’t be three yet. At least we’ll make it past our fourth anniversary and the new baby will be born. I’d hate to be raptured pregnant! AND, at least I’ll have commented once in 2010 on the IMonk site.

    Seriously, though, apparently for all their reading of the Bible, these folks haven’t noticed the verse about how we do not know the day or the hour.

    • Seriously, though, apparently for all their reading of the Bible, these folks haven’t noticed the verse about how we do not know the day or the hour.

      I would say that they in fact DO know about and HAVE noticed that verse – hence the title/name of their Webpage.

    • Well, Alice, let’s hope you get to use what you learned getting your Masters Degree when heaven and earth are renewed and are one! (whenever that DOES happen)

  8. cermak_rd says:

    But wait, all the Jews haven’t assembled in Israel yet and converted. What happens when prophecies collide?

    • Headless Unicorn Guy says:

      “WHEN PROPHECIES COLLIDE”…

      Now THAT’d be a good title for a movie!

      • conanthepunctual says:

        I love that. I can hear the booming bass voice over now: “In a world filled with certainty, what happens when two certainties become uncertain?”

  9. Tigger 23505 says:

    Given Camping’s track record I don’t plan on any special precautions.

    Just the usual ones,
    Mat 25:1-13 Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom. (2) And five of them were wise, and five were foolish. (3) They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: (4) But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. (5) While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept. (6) And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him. (7) Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps. (8) And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out. (9) But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves. (10) And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut. (11) Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us. (12) But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not. (13) Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.

  10. Oh boy…followoing links off the website of wecanknow to
    http://www.the-latter-rain.com/the-age-of-the-earth.html I read that we can know the date of creation:

    “An interesting fact here is that this means man was created six days after September 26 on October 1. Isn’t that interesting? Man’s creation and Christ’s birth both took place on October 1. [next page says] Since we now know that Creation was 11013 BC, we can apply dates to the information we have already examined.”

    I thought you all would want to know!

    • To paraphrase Abe Lincoln or whoever said it: “God must love stupid people; He made so many of them.”

      • Thank God for a sense of humor! I just read what Henri Nouwen says is an old Estonian proverb: “Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.” I need to remember to be thankful for small things.

    • makes me wish my birthday was on Oct.1….then I could be THE THIRD ADAM….that would be so cool..

      GregR

    • Um, Joanie . . . Six days after September 26 would be October 2. This prophet is obviously NOT one of the obsessive math geeks.

    • That website is pretty good, but the best ‘calculator’, even better than Camping, was Ed Whisenant. I still have his little booklet ’88 Reasons Why the Rapture Could Be in 1988′ (when that wasn’t sensational enough, he changed the title to ‘will be’). He was a master mathematician and prophet. Here’s a sample of his work:

      ‘6. From 1252 B.C., the marriage of Boaz to Ruth (the marriage of a Jew, Boaz, to the gentile wife, Ruth), 1252 B.C. + (9 X 360) = 1988 (the marriage of the Jew Jesus to his gentile bride the church. The wedding does not take place until Rosh-Hash-Ana 1995, but in 1988 the engagement time is over when Jesus comes for his bride the church). Nine (called 3 X 3) is God’s completeness or the number of God, and 360 are the days in a prophetic year, meaning the years of the waiting for the gentile bride are now over for Jesus.’

      Makes perfect sense. If that isn’t enough to convince you, try this one:

      ‘We are now in the 100th Congress of the United States, and 1987 is the 212th birthday of the Constitution of the United States. Water boils at 100 degrees centigrade, and at 212 degrees fahrenheit. We will not see another national election; nor will we see the end of the 213th year of the Constitution (which is the end of 1988), before the war comes (World War III) which destroys us completely as a nation, before the election in November 1988 – and before the harvest 1988, on 4 October, 1988.’

      There you have it – water boils at 100 C and 212 F. Who can argue with reasoning like that?

      • Headless Unicorn Guy says:

        That website is pretty good, but the best ‘calculator’, even better than Camping, was Ed Whisenant. I still have his little booklet ’88 Reasons Why the Rapture Could Be in 1988′…

        Which he followed with a sequel the next year: “89 Reasons Why The Rapture Will Be in 1989!”.

        Sales of the sequel tanked for some reason…

      • I recall being handed some kind of tract on this one during the summer of 1988 – I was in line for a ride at Knott’s Berry Farm at the time. Somehow I don’t seem to recall giving it much credence at the time. 🙂

      • Stop making sense!!! :-O

    • Mike McDonald says:

      October 1 is also the start of the federal gov’t fiscal year. I’m certain there’s a connection somewhere.

  11. Woohoo! No tax return for me next year!

  12. At best I’m post trib premil, at worst postmil/amil…. since my government doesn’t persecute me yet for being a christian I say this is a hoax lol.
    But…. thanks to american evangelicals for entertaining the rest of us christians worldwide…. it’s so hilarious, you just need a sense of humour to perceive this….

  13. Oh come on! I finally get my bachelor’s and the very day I graduate, the world ends?! Just my luck.

  14. It is interesting that someone can say something so stupid, and say it because of too high view of reason (or more of their own arrogance about their reason).

    As someone who just left the Christian Reformed Church a few weeks ago himself, I will briefly allude to what many here know even better than me. The real root cause to this type of foolish speculation is the (elevated) Aristotelian view of reason (which came by the route of Averroes, Aquinas-and the Scholastics, Luther, Calvin and the Dutch).

    So, when you loose the Biblical concept of reason, that it is wonderful, God-given . . . but fallible, then you start to believe that you can reach all levels of certainty with your own power of logic.

    While my old church didn’t speculate on the eschatology, the pastor and leaders were anal (their words, not mine) about being “Biblical.” What they really meant, is that they had figured out, to great detail, what the Bible said about every precise aspect of life and it was black Vs white. There was a Biblical or non-Biblical way to fix your car, brush your teeth and wear your under pants (okay I’m exaggerating here). In other words, you, as a mortal human being, (but with your perfect Aristotelian logic) could know all truth exhaustively.

    I am now much more attracted to pastors and churches where there’s a lot of shoulder shrugging (as in, “I’m not sure?”).

    • Thanks a bunch J. Michael Jones… so it is OUR fault the world is gonna end next year lol…. (I am dutch you might not now that and even living in the place).
      I understand what you mean by aristotelian since I had neothomist lessons from the Summa in my french monastery…
      Got a question for you: isn’t Luther anti aristotelian? I mean he doesn’t mind if it ‘adds up’ or not as long as it’s biblical? And concerning Calvin (a frenchman by the way….): isn’t the denial of free will anti aristotelian? Any philosophy has to stress free will were many bible believing christians (even those who believe in ‘free will’ ) will state our free will has been at least thwarted and weakened by the fall, something the ancient greeks were not aware of.
      To me it appears as if you are seeing catholicism lutheranism and calvinism as one and the same because of the influence of Aristotle….
      We haven’t had religious wars for nothing in Europe and if we all were so very much alike I doubt we would have killed each other.

      • OK J. Michael Jones….
        I guess what we have here is a cultural gap…. just been reading your blog a bit… calvinists in the Netherlands do NOT have Ken Ham video watching events (that is fundamentalist and even those who are against evolution have no clue who Ken Ham is…)
        Most calvinists here do approve of gay marriage and have merged with the liberal lutherans (we do not have any other species of lutheranism in this country).
        Also…. ‘dutch’ americans are NOT dutch!!!! They don’t have a dutch passport, are part of american culture and american evangelical influences and NOT part of dutch continental culture and the manifold liberal influences we have over here.
        Most conservative calvinists here (we still do have a few Statenvertaling only kinda peebs) are now slowly moving toward theistic evolutionism…
        Christians here do not suffer that much from conservative fundamentalism but from liberal fundamentalism (“everything HAS TO BE possible or else…”)
        My forefathers were second class citizens as roman catholics in a calvinist nation… some of them even might have been slaughtered during the war of Eighty Years…
        Over here christianity also is history.

        • I used Luther’s name as in linage, not necessarily of the same mind set, as my kids have many traits which I don’t carry (but the milkman did, hmmm). Maybe I should have said “Zwingli” instead of Luther as he had plenty of Scholastic writings in his private library.

          Regarding, “Dutch,” I’m speaking of the Dutch Reformed Church, the father (or mother) of the Christian Reformed Church, and not the Dutch culture. Actually one family in my old church does hold a Netherlands passport, and several are second generation. However, as you’ve said, they have been very Americanized (fundamentalized) since their immigration. I totally agree (and you know far more than I) that the present church scene in The Netherlands is far different than its American counterpart and the American version has had many influences (Schofield for one) which the Dutch has not.

          • The Dutch Reformed Church didn’t father the Christian Reformed Church…. the latter left the former and were punished for it at the time (1830) by the then king William I who had soldiers live in the houses of these insubordinate citizens which of course led to mass emigration of entire villages/churches to the New World following their pastors.
            I used to use a Scofield bible have a Ryrie and utterly reject pretrib premil eschatology. Reformed dutch christians here are NOT into that at all and more like lutherans and catholics (amil)
            From your blog I can understand you have had it with the fundamentalist mentality of that CRC and think it’s just a matter of spiritual hygiene to leave it.
            Dutch ppl might be the best immigrants in your nation: the immigrants still speak dutch of course but their children already speak english as their mother tongue and just know some dutch words.
            We are a bit chameleon like in that respect.

        • Headless Unicorn Guy says:

          Hans, in 19th Century America a “Dutchman” could mean a Nederlander, German, or Austrian — anyone whose first language was a Germanic one. In rural Pennsylvania (most of whose “Pennsylvania Dutch” actually hailed from Hesse), “Dutch” is still the term used by anyone with roots in any of those countries, just as “English” was used to mean anyone “not Dutch”.

          • Headless,
            I guess that would be american usage and I’ve heard of it before regarding the Pennsylvania Dutch and that german and dutch immigrants intermarried and such…. something unthinkable over here lolol.
            Being european I”m used to british ppl who only use ‘dutch’ as referring to inhabitants of the tiny kingdom of the Netherlands.

          • In the sense that HUG referred to, I think “Dutch” was confused with “Deutsch”. And so the Pennsylvania Dutch were mostly Germans.

      • cermak_rd says:

        I’m not so sure the Europeans did slaughter each other over religion. Oh, sure the politicians (Kings and non-royal alike) used the religious differences to convince their people to slaughter the others, but at root it was all about political power. The Catholic church supported the divine right of kings (which the kings were keen to keep) and the Protestants didn’t necessarily.

        • Cermak,
          I think it’s a bit of both…. you are right of course that the religion wars were about power and who dominated whom.
          At the same time many ppl did slaugher others for their faith. Like the french slaughtering the huguenot protestants and the calvinist ‘gueux’ (tramps) who killed off entire catholic regions behaving themselves like vikings.
          Also military power was used to sway cities from catholic to calvinist: that was the case of the dutch cities of Groningen and Amsterdam.
          All of this according to the ‘cuius regio eius religio’ rule.
          Yet five centuries later there still are huge differences in mentality between dutch catholics and protestants although it’s waning a bit because of secularism.
          At times it seems to me that in the USA one forges one’s own destiny and future while in Europe we have been (pre)destined by our past…. just a lil joke here 🙂

    • Blaming St. Thomas Aquinas? Ah, come on now!

      Besides, Luther would have been very anti-Aquinas, lumping him in with the Scholastics. Remember all that “Reason is a whore” rhetoric?

      On the other hand, I agree you can blame Calvin all you like.

      😉

      • Your’e right Martha, Luther certainly did not love the scholastics. I maintain that the explosion of “evangelical” (in the modern, American sense) Christianity has more to do with shabby enlightenment thinking (ie anything from Descartes to Voltaire to Kant to Finney, yes, I said Finney), than with what came before.

        Now that I’ve upset many people, I’ll end my comment. 🙂

  15. ATChaffee says:

    How apopros to read this today, the anniversary of the Great Disappointment. On October 22, 1844, Jesus did not return visibly as predicted and my denomination (SDA) was born.

    • I love the whole idea of the adventist movement. As late as 1929 the Jehovah’s Witnesses, another branch of the movement, were claiming that Jesus had returned invisibly in 1874. They also claimed He was going to return visibly in 1914, then 1917, then 1925. It was only in 1931 that they changed the date of the invisible return to 1914, with the visible return to be at some future (1945, 1975, ???) date.

      All of which merely proves that Harold Camping is nowhere near an original, and that “there is nothing new under the sun.” 🙂

  16. To Chap Mike and others: how far off (I’m thinking weeks here, not future eschatons.. 🙂 ) is the series on the end times ?? or do we have to discern this ourselves by the signs of the times, you know, World series winners and all that…. ?? Any suggested reading for those who want to study ahead ??

    Greg R

    • One thing I will guarantee- the week of May 15, 2011 will be Rapture Week here at Internet Monk. Save the dates!

      In the meantime, I will work on an eschatology series and present it asap.

      • why don’t we all just meet over at Martha’s the week of the 21st ?? Not sure if Martha will be there, if we’re lucky she’ll have the frig stocked…. would be a shame to waste those cold pints… :-/

        Greg R

        • Fleeing to Ireland to escape the Tribulation?

          Nice idea – except according to folk tradition, we’re going to sink beneath the waves seven years before the end of the world – a boon St. Patrick obtained from God in order to spare the land he loved from all the destruction due to the fallilng stars and fires and whirlwinds and who knows what 🙂

          Still, you lot bring the duty free, I’ll provide the fridge space!

          😉

          • According to all this, there aren’t seven years left for you to sink beneath the waves, so this should be o.k.

            Also, Ireland is a lot closer and easier to reach for me than any of these other IM meeting venues.

            Wolf

      • Can you or Jeff create an eschatology app? It would be useful in tracking these dates and scheduling vacations around them.

  17. Headless Unicorn Guy says:

    Since we are only a little more than a half a year away from the Rapture (May 21, 2011) and exactly a year away from the end of the world (Oct 21, 2011), I thought we might re-visit this post.

    Actually, according to the Third Eagle Prophet of The Apocalypse on YouTube (i.e. the “It’s Prophesied, It’s Prophesied” Guy), The End actually happened Wednesday of last week. Guy had a video (in between some really awful Prophecy songs and “Those Who Masturbate Will Not Be Raptured”) filled with calculation after calculation PROVING from SCRIPTURE that The End would come Wednesday Oct 13 2010 when Obama (“Who has four heads and has four wings; The Bible calls him The Leopard King; It’s Prophesied, It’s Prophesied”) starts World War Three.

    Note the “Can You Top This?” bandwagon timing.
    1) Everyone (including Nostradamus) goes Gaga over Mayan Calendar 2012.
    2) Camping tops this with May 21, 2011.
    3) It’s Prophesied Guy tops them both with October 13, 2010.

    • Radio Ga Ga

    • Well, how do we know the rapture didn’t happen? Maybe it just took the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse and his small group of comparably holy and prepared friends, and we never knew? Somehow that doesn’t worry me much.

      • The hedgehog that lives in the bushes near us has disappeared too. All is explained.

        • Are you doing OK with….ummm….losing out to a hedgehog ?? That might rattle my theology a little bit..

          • The hedgehog loved God
            More than the cat loved the dog
            More than the toad loved the frog
            And thus…he was raptured.

          • Hey, greg r, hedgehogs have humility down cold. Consider the hedgehogs of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin, yet Solomon in all his glory was sure as heck not arrayed as one of these.

          • I grew up Catholic, so I am theologically secure in my ignorance of the rapture.

        • Christiane says:

          OMG our bunnies are gone from the property, too

          gone . . .

          • @JoanieD: that lyric is priceless: you are well on your way to some kind of animal,pre-trib musical adventure…. Doesn’t JeffF play a little guitar ? I want an action figure if anything comes of this….. still laughing…….

            greg r

          • There’s no place to click Reply under greg r, so I will put it under Christiane and see what happens:

            Thanks, Greg! Glad I could make you laugh. That was my intention. I know I don’t get to laugh enough. I spent a weekend last weekend with my sisters, cousins, nieces in North Conway, NH and we got in some really good laughs. Ones that take your breath away. Love it!

            And to Christiane: it was YOUR name I was trying to remember when I was listing the Catholics who comment here. I wrote “Catherina!” Jeesh. Sorry about that.

  18. Posted earlier…I still can’t believe it. This shows that PT Barnum was right…there’s a sucker born every minute. I’m waiitng for the scheduled rapture to come and go with nothing to happen, and than his followers to begin to claim “persecution” and fall under a persecution complex especially as more scrutiny would be deserved.

    Oh well…as the rapture draws near think of all the positives from their perspective. Evangelicals can be like Jonah, longing for the destruction of those they hate, So they can forgot about the needs of those around them in the white, upper middle class suburbs!!

    My one request is please, please, please…..take Pat Robertson with you!!! Those of us who live in Virginia suffer greatly by his presence and influence. If the ratupre is going to happen I’ll buy a lawn chair, plop in front of Regent University and pop a beer on May 21, 2011 to celebrate his departure!! 😀 😀 😀

  19. David Cornwell says:

    One thing I’ve been confused about concerning the rapture. Do our clothes go with us or do we fly through the sky naked? My mom, when we were kids, would tell us to wear clean underwear in case we end up in the emergency room… but nothing about this possibility. But we were Methodists and never heard of the rapture.

  20. Paul Davis says:

    I keep hearing the theme from looney tunes playing everytime I read any of campings stuff…

    I have a book that states emphatically that the rapture will take place in 1988!!!

    How many raptures does this make for camping?

    Isn’t eschatology fun? 🙂

    -Paul-

    • Headless Unicorn Guy says:

      How many raptures does this make for camping?

      The original Quintessinal Mercy Games version or the D20 adaptation?

  21. I have to admit….for the few years I was part of a non-denominational born-again type of group, I kind of liked the idea of us all meeting up with Jesus in the sky. I didn’t really know how it would happen or what it would entail, but I don’t really know what the new heavens and new earth will be like either or what our resurrection bodies will be like, so I can live with a lot of…mystery. And I certainly see where rapture folks get the impression that they get from some of the passages in the Gospel books. So, we are having fun here (myself included!) but mainly because we have heard these predictions of Jesus second coming and the end of the world so often and they come to nothing. And this group is so sure of itself, it just begs to have fun with them.

  22. Wow – Jesus really knows how to pick a date. That’s our son’s wedding day – could it wait until after the ceremony? I really want to see them get hitched ….

    • Headless Unicorn Guy says:

      They could do what most of the student body at that one Bible college did during the Edgar Weisenhaunt Rapture Scare of 1988. According to the guy over at Cerulean Sanctum, they all got married QUICK to beat Weisenhaunt’s date — the Christianese version of “I gotta pop my cherry just once before I die”. Cerulean Sanctum wonders how many of those couples are still together today, some 20 years later.

      • Buford Hollis says:

        No point in using birth control, I guess. I mean, if it’s nine months or less before the Big Day.

  23. I really get a kick out of the “Save The Date!” on that sign on the top of this post. I need to pick out the 2011 calendar I am going to use for next year and make sure I get that date entered. Wouldn’t want to miss it.

    • “Wouldn’t want to miss it.”

      May 22 you slap your forehead and say. “I KNOW I forgot something yesterday…What was it now? Wrap something All of my presents are wrapped. That’s not it! NOW I remember, OH NO, I forgot the Rapture!”

  24. Well, if all of us Catholics here get left behind, we can keep the blog going, though Jeff or Mike will have to appoint some of us as moderators. Let’s see, there is Martha, HUG, Anna, Libby, Daisy, Alan, Catherina (sp?) and more.

  25. Funny — That’s the date of my Anniversary! Just warned my husband that we might have to end the celebration early.

  26. Comment deleted by moderator.

  27. I still like the answer from the “Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe”, that answer to all things is “42!”

    By the way, EricW, you seem to be out of sorts. Perhaps some pepto to settle your stomach.

  28. Eagle you also may want to join EricW for a little pepto for your upset tummy.

    • No I’ll settle for a beer, a nice dance and fellowship with one of my gay friends. The pepto can be for the evangelical who watches me enjoy a Miller Light and discuss how proud I am for votng in 2008 for Obama!!! 😀 😀 😀

  29. His arguments are invalid.

    Camping didn’t even do his math in base 7, the most holy of all bases.

  30. I just get them “Salvation Math Blues……..”

    A song someone needs to write.

  31. They have over 9,000 friends on Facebook. Someone is obviously buying what they’re selling.

    • As Eagle said earlier: “This shows that PT Barnum was right…there’s a sucker born every minute.

    • Or, dumb ox, a lot of their Facebook friends could be folks like us, poking fun at them. Though I suppose the owner of that Facebook page would delete any friends that they didn’t like.

      I wonder if that guy is still out there offering to take care of details left behind in your life if you got raptured? He had a webpage and for a fee, he would write to any left behind relatives, etc.

  32. In a way, this is a good example of how evangelicals get the second commandment all wrong. Evangelicals tend to think that any external religious symbols are idolatrous, that true spirituality is on the inside. But pietism keeps its idols on the inside. An idol is anything which takes on a demonic (oppressive, inhuman, destructive) power over an individual. All things (including math) have the potential for both sacramental and demonic potentials. Pietistic evangelicals would never bow down to a piece of wood or stone, but they do prostrate themselves to voices inside their heads, bad theology, and bizarre “logic” like this.

    • I’m completely convinced mathematics is demonic (how I suffered during schooling with that one subject, you’ll never know).

      Save the world – kill all the mathematicians!!!!

      🙂

  33. I’d give more credence to these prophecy preachers if they gave a money-back guarantee with their books that set dates. Of course, people like Hal Linsdey, Harold Camping, the Watchtower and many, many others would go bankrupt if they had to give their money back after their failed prophecies. Maybe that’s a good thing, as they’d be more careful and not just publish new prophecies after the old ones failed. I think Lindsey’s The late great planet earth is still in print, with the prophecies of 1981/1988 still intact.

    Any remember Y2K, where society was to fall apart, riots in the streets, the end times would be ushered in, yada, yada, yada… That time (January 1, 2000) came and went, and the only catastrophe happened was to the Christian bookstores which were now stuck with cases of Y2K books, tapes and survival guides that were now not worth the paper they were printed on, if they ever were. *sigh*

    • The Family Christian store we shopped at in Denver still had the Y2K books in 2003, at full price at that! Talk about optimism.

  34. That was so confusing I forgot what I was reading!

  35. No wonder Jesus said, “…when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?” Luke 18:9 With the Camping’s of the world…who needs comedians?

  36. Chaplain Mike,

    The Rapture happened last night in Philly. Go Giants! 😉

    • When Brian Wilson struck out Ryan Howard with the winning runs on, Giants fans were beamed up into heaven and Phillies fans were “left behind.”

  37. This guy’s wrong. Some of the door-to-door detractors came down out of their tower the other day and told my granddaughter that since Heaven reached capacity a while back, that their perennial predictions of the end are to be ignored. They said the world will never come to an end, but Trinitarian Christians will “evaporate”, leaving only those who follow their teachings to own the world.
    –Sarcasm off–

  38. There’s a reason I teach English and not math . . .

  39. stum, stum, children.
    Let’s wait an see. THEN we can throw ca-ca at them.
    I mean, who knows, right? Acts 5:39